some people say masks, i prefer shells. i think we all create shells. i dunno why, do we learn to do this or have we been hurt so many times that we have to do this. today i feel like crawling back in my shell and hiding. i know i shouldn't but would anyone really notice? i try to be as open as i can with those that i have allowed to become close to me. i takes a quite a while for me to let anyone peek in on the other side of my shell. since coming to river valley i have met four or five people that i let peek in, should i have done that? today tells me no, i should just keep to myself. you can't hurt or be hurt if you stay in your shell. have you ever come out of your shell and put it all on the line with a person and then they suddenly close up and climb back in their shell with no explanation? it is not easy for me to come out of my shell and share the real me with others. maybe i should stick to what is easy. i know i shouldn't though, christ wouldn't want me to do that. if i hide in my shell how will others see him. i know i need to come out of my shell and let people see the real me. i think i need help. if i come out will people like the real me? i dunno.
i'm not saying someone has hurt me, please don't assume that. all i am saying is i feel like hiding.