Monday, March 14, 2011

Unknown Facts about me-9

Okay so Friday came and went but in my defense it was a busy day and a much busier weekend. So on to the unknown fact,

I am striving to no longer be passive aggressive. I have yet to figure out how to tell others how I feel or what I think but being Passive aggressive gets me no where. I am so good at it though but it really does get me no where.


My friend Nicki Carleton posted this on her facebook page this morning. I had to share it, it was what I needed to hear at just the right moment.

We need to be held, God, we need your close embrace: a safe place where
we are not afraid. Often, we choose to stand alone rather than ask for
you to hold us. But you do not leave us alone! Repeatedly you come with
love and the gift of a new day, and whisper into our ears, "Live!" Amen.

As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you. Isaiah 66:13
I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you...Because I live, you also will live. John 14:18-19

She got this from the Moravian Text of the day.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Bittersweet quote 1

'If you dig in and fight the changes, they will smash you to bits. They'll hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you. But if you can find it within yourself, in the wildest of seasons, just for a moment, to trust in the goodness of God, who made it all and holds it all together, you'll find yourself drawn along to a whole new place, and there's truly nothing sweeter. unclench your fists, unlock your knees and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath and begin to swim. Begin to let the waves do their work in you."
Shauna Niequist

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

transformation of the soul

I read the following on a blog and just wanted to share it. I really like the the meaning of the hebrew word for repent," to draw a deep breath."

"When we are marked with ash on our foreheads we hear the invitation to “repent and believe the good news.” One of the Hebrew words for repent is nacham. The root of this word means “to draw a deep breath” as well as to be deeply moved to a feeling of sorrow. The Greek word for repent is metanoia, which means “to reconsider.” But it is also a compound word made up of the words, “meta” and “nous.” “Meta” means “transformation”and “nous” means “soul.” So, as we begin this journey we are invited to nothing less than a “transformation of the soul.'"

Monday, March 7, 2011

Lent- to add or subtract??

In the past it seems that you sit and struggle with what do I want to live without for 40 days. It's never been like a real sacrifice, like I was doing it because I needed to rid something from my life to see more of Jesus. In the past I have given up things like chocolate, soda, TV, TV between the hours of noon and 4, candy, ect... But did any of these things really make me see Jesus in a different way, spend more time with Him, or become more like Jesus? No not really. Ridding my life of those things really didn't make a difference in my walk with Jesus. As Easter came I found myself along with all of those around me indulging in the very things we had given up.

A couple of years ago Eli and I felt called to take the time of Lent and begin to recycle. We felt that God was calling us to become good stewards of the earth. To this day we still recycle. Did this make me walk any closer with Christ? No well, maybe a tad I did listen to the call to begin to take care of my little part of the Earth that God has given us.

This year I have really been thinking about what to do. I feel like this is my time to step back and fall more in love with Jesus. I have gone through a hard season in the past couple years. I have felt broken, hurt, lonely, betrayed, and empty for a while.
I think that through it all I have made myself numb trying to deal with things. For a while this song really expressed how I felt:

"Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

And this is all that I can say right now
I know it's not much
And this is all that I can give
yeah that's my everything"

I love Jesus. I know what he has done for me and I am thankful for that. The rest of the words of that song ring so true.

"I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet"

Through it all he was there and I know that but sometime we need to hear that. The words to this song just put a picture to the knowledge that He is there with us. It's hard because even though He was there I didn't feel it. I tried to guard myself so much that I think I guarded my self from feeling Christ's presence. But to think that he was and is holding me! I know that following Jesus is just a feeling. But this is the way I can describe me right now.

This gets me to the here and now. I want to feel like the words in this song:
"My God is not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion"

Wow to feel Christ so boldly.

My prayer for Lent is this
I pray that I will be faithful to spend time with Jesus.
To speak with him constantly.
To seek refuge in Him
To take it all to Him
To rely on Him.
I pray that I will begin to feel Christ Roaring like a Lion.

I need to spend more time on me, on my spiritual health right now.
I want to fall more in love with Jesus.
I want to stop worrying about what others think and just be in awe of Him.

My friend Lilly wrote this in a blog post and it really resonated with me.

"too often i don't take the time to be awestruck by Jesus...i don't focus enough on His glory and His position as King...
so this lent (starting next wednesday btw) i am reflecting on how i might engage the wonder and awe of Jesus in tangible ways."

There is a Starfield song that I hear at youth workers that just really spoke to where I want to be.
"Lover of my soul
I want to tell you
Only you have all of me
I cannot contain my adoration
I'm in love so desperately

No one is as lovely as you are
There is no one else who has my heart

Jesus you have me completely
Every breath I breathe
I am absolutely in love
Jesus I am yours forever
All of me surrenders
I am absolutely in love with you

Down upon my knees
I'm lost in worship
Humbled by your majesty
What is there to say
But how I love you
Thank you for forgiving me

No one is as lovely as you are
There is no one else who has my heart

Jesus you have me completely
Every breath that I breathe
I am absolutely in love
Jesus I am yours forever
All of me surrenders
I am absolutely in love with you

All I am is yours (all I am is yours)
Only yours

Jesus you have me completely
Every breath that I breathe
I am absolutely in love
Jesus I am yours forever
All of me surrenders
I am absolutely in love
Jesus you have me completely
Every breath that I breathe
I am absolutely in love with you
In love with you"

So how do I go about doing this??

HMMM, good question.
1. Spend time in the word.
2. Pray in many ways.
3. Worship through music (songs really speak to me, I love to sing to Jesus)
4. Have someone that I can trust that will help me.
5. Groups, study, and fellowship
6. Focus on me and Jesus and try not to worry about how others view me. (stop trying to be a pleaser)

"i am reflecting on how i might engage the wonder and awe of Jesus in tangible ways"- I am hoping my friend Lilly will continue to blog about this statement. And maybe share some of the ways that she engages the wonder and awe of Jesus in tangible ways.

So i dunno maybe this doesn't make a bit of sense to anyone but it does to me. So instead of giving up something during this season of Lent I am going to focus on my relationship with Christ. My friend Lilly has really impacted my life. She wrote an article about Shrove Tuesday and Lent and it really spoke to me.

It's amazing the gifts that God gives us to get us to points like this. I am so thankful for the talk in the bathroom and the hug. The genuine I care about you hug that I hadn't received in so long. The hug said more than words ever could. Thanks!

And to my gift with the purple bow, I couldn't be where I am without you! I am so glad that in the midst of the whirlwind that God sent me you. I am sorry I didn't realize the gift I had in you before Nashville.

I am no where near wholeness but I am on the road to healing and restoration. So here we go... I am going to enjoy my pancakes tomorrow and continue on my path to falling more in love with Jesus.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Changing things up a bit.

So I am changing things up here a bit.
I changed the names of my blogs that are listed above. Please add each of them to your RSS reader so you don't miss a thing. I lead such an exciting life and am such a wealth of information I would hate for you to miss any of it. LOL. Actually I just blog about the amazing food I find on other blogs, my loves in life and my exciting moments which are few and far between.

Unknown Facts about me-8

I love to bake! I love to bake for others. Baking for others isn't all, I love to do things for other people. I love to help people when and where I can. If I offer to help, let me! It does my heart good.