Tuesday, November 20, 2007

my heart was challenged

i figured that maybe i would share with you what i learned or what god layed on my heart the past few days. i'll start with the pre conference herstory.

thanks to virginia wards' talk i learned that i am in between stages of my life. she said there are three stages, youth, mothering, and maturity. then between the stages there is transition that takes the three p's patience, peace and perseverance. she said that so many people don't understand the transition period. i believe, after hearing her talk, that i am in the transition period between youth and mothering. she said often people hang on to one stage while trying to enter the next stage not realizing that you have to embrace the transition.

then that evening i went to a seminar called the "the journey with difficult girls" this focused on cliques and the rolls girls play in them. she went over the different people in the clique and what the rolls of each member are. she went into how they interact with each other and with those not in the clique. as i sat there hearing this i looked back on my high school days and could see what she was saying. i could see where and how i fit into the picture. she also discussed how to deal with each roll and the drama that comes with it.

this morning i went to a seminar called "the art of you." in this seminar she talked about how we are all unique and god put us here for our own purpose. that we are all wonderful and marvelous. this is something i struggle with. she talked about how our past can hinder us from what god has intended for us. and how he views us, we view ourselves and the way we allow others to view us. my prayer after this was "lord let me just come to grip with the fact that you made me this way and i am ok."

after the first session this morning was the closing for the herstory conference. jeanne stevens gave the closing talk. she spoke about how we are women and that's okay. God made me a woman, that's what he intended for me to be there is no mistake. I AM WOMAN!

she is so passionate about the roll of women. i just wanted to sit and cry after her talk and i did a little during worship. it was so nice to be in a room with no one who knew me. i could let down all walls i had up, no one was there to watch me and judge me. because i felt like i could be comfy and cry if i needed to. i think i am in the process of leaving behind all i have ever been told about myself and finding out who i am. i am trying to grasp what's good about me. this weekend i was finally able to name two things that i do well. yeah jodi i came up with two and it didn't take an hour. i am an organizer and a planner.

so as herstory wrapped up i just sat there thinking does it really have to be over. i really hope they do this again. it was good for my soul.

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