blah

so here i sit very, very tired. but eli's gone so i probably won't sleep until monday night. i feel blah, paranoid, worried and stressed. that seems to be a continual state. why do i worry about what people think of me, why am i so paranoid about offending anyone, why do i stress over every little detail in life, i dunno. and some of you may say don't stress, don't worry, just give it to god. it's not that easy sorry. i have always stressed and worried. i have never been able to get past it. i can pray all day and night and give it to god a million times but it's still there. if someone doesn't like me does it really matter? if someone isn't willing to come to me when they have a problem with me are they really worth worrying about? if i don't know i can't fix it. i just spend my days with heartburn, headaches and stomach aches because i worry. sorry i am sitting here alone and my worrys tend to run away with me when i am alone and have nothing to do.