My best friend went to Kindergarten.

This summer has gone by so quickly. I can't believe my kids are back in school. I am thankful for daily routine that it brings. I need that daily routine to function properly.
I remember when Ellie started Kindergarten. I remember waddling her into her room to meet her teacher and tearing up at orientation. I took her to school on her first day and picked her up. I teared up a little but not a full on cry. Soon after Ellie started school we had a distraction from Ellie's new adventure. Lilly came and life was more about her than Ellie leaving the house and going to Kindergarten everyday.
It was Silas and I at home with a baby to take care of everyday. Okay we all know that I was the one doing the caring for but man did that boy love to help and he wanted to do everything he could for his baby sister. He would even sit and hold her hand while he watched cartoons. He wanted to help feed her, change her and bathe her. I didn't work outside the home at this time, like I did with Ellie. Instead I was babysitting. I think that aided in a different level of bonding for Silas and I.
Yesterday was Silas' first day of Kindergarten and he LOVED it! Eli took him to school because the little girl I am babysitting for gets here at 7:15. I tear up when they left, and teared up a couple times during the day. At about noon I wondered, Is there any way I can find out if he's ok. I went to pick him up and I teared up. Thank goodness for big dark sunglasses. I ask him if he had a good day and he said it was awesome. And then I ask the question that no mom should ever ask their child. Did you miss me? He responds no. That only hurt a little. I don't want him to miss me I want him to have fun and enjoy school to the fullest.
After making dinner, cleaning it up and getting everyone to bed I nestled in my bed to fold clothes while I watched some tv. There was nothing on which just left me and my thoughts folding clothes. NOT GOOD! So it finally dawned on me. At noon yesterday it wasn't Silas I need to be wondering about it was me. I was the one not doing good. My best friend went to Kindergarten and I was a little lost. I didn't have anyone to talk to. Sure Lilly and Isabella were here but those are not the same conversations I had with Si. I didn't have anyone to snuggle with. Lilly doesn't snuggle very often if at all. I didn't have a helper following me around trying to figure out how he could help me with everything I was doing. I didn't have anyone to have some down time with and play wii. I had myself a good little sob and continued to fold clothes.
So thus a new chapter in our lives has come. I hope his loves for school continues and I hope that Ellie develops a love for school this year. I, and she, need for her to have a great year.
I am sure I will start handling this better. I am sure that Lilly and I will develop a deeper relationship and then in 4 years I will be right back here where I am now.

Fall Motivates Me.

Fall is coming! I love fall, it motivates me. I have plans, big plans. I hope that I can stick with them and follow through with my plans.

1. couch to 5K
I want to run in the color run. I need to loose weight. My goal is to loose 70 lbs. I am going to try to get up at 5:30 and try to do this. I think that's when there were been the least amount of people out to see my feeble attempt.

2. Let my hair continue to grow.
After I loose weight and my face is somewhat thinner I want to get my hair cut. So until then I am going to let it grow and then when I cut it I will donate it.

3. Make my own applesauce

4. There are many delicious goodies that I want to make.

5. Bread bowls- I want to master making them.

6. A soup a week. One night every week we will have soup.

7. Bonfires! Lots of Bonfires.
I think we should make it a tradition that the first Friday night of the month is bonfire night at the Roogles Ranch. All is welcome. I love bonfires.

8. I want to master Bagels.
I want to learn how to make all different varieties of them.

9. I have many sewing projects that I want to get finished.

10. I want to paint the metal cabinet in my kitchen.
I have a chair at my parents house that my mom and dad said I could have. I would like to get it as well for the kitchen.

11. Make Cheesecakes
Laura Milmore has agreed to get together and help me figure this one out. I hear she makes an amazing cheesecake. I have a recipe for a pumpkin cheesecake with a Ginger snap crust.

12. Spend more time with Jesus!
I need it.

13. LOVE
Love all with all I've got. It's not as easy as it sounds, our human nature gets in the way. But I am going to try.

I have lots that I want to do. And there are many more things that I haven't listed, I guess these are the most important to me. I hope that I can get motivated and keep it. It would be nice to have someone to accomplish some of this with but I think I am on my own. Wish me luck.

As I read back over this it looks like I am going to have to do an awful lot of exercising to loose the weight I want to loose. After doing the couch to 5K in the mornings I'll have to use my wii fit in the afternoon and then maybe we can take family walks or bike rides in the evenings. I hope I can do it.

Starting over

God gives us second chances right?? So today because of a simple pin on Pinterest we discussed second changes and started over.

For the next three weeks the kids and I are going to discuss obedience. We are going to pick a verse to go over every day and I have a Bible story for everyday. There is a section to help you create your own prayer about being obedient. The pin on Pinterest had different activities to do to reinforce obedience.

I really am hoping that this works.

So to start I talked about how God gives us second chances and we ge to start over when we mess up. I told them that just as God does that with us I am going to give them a second chance. They were given 45 minutes to put everything in it's place and start the UH OH! tub over again. I am hoping by starting over fresh new and with a empty tub that this will help.

I am going to keep the UH OH! tub but I wanted to start the next three weeks with the tub empty and new. I hope that as we discuss the stories and do the activities that they will see the importance of doing what mommy and daddy say and doing what God says.

The thing I like about this stuff I found is that it also has a parents section where you can create a prayer for you and your kids. It's a prayer for you to pray. So the kids aren't doing this on their own you have your part outside of guiding them through the activities as well.


If this works the website I found has other activities and such on different character traits. I think we will continue to do these. It can't hurt, right??

...

A friend posted this as her status on Facebook last night. It so goes right along with the way my heart was feeling and my mind was thinking.

"Jesus didn’t limit his ministry to the four walls of the church. We know that. He was out there fighting injustice and speaking truth to power every single day. He was out there spreading a message of grace and redemption to the least, the last, and the lost. And our charge is to find Him everywhere, every day by how we live our lives."
Michelle Obama

Will I ever give up the control?

I was reading a blog today and had so many emotions while reading. I went from anxiety to relief and then was crying by the end.
I really related to the last paragraph.

"What I do know is that my expertise is not to be average. In my first years of youth ministry, I had a mentor who told me that the two worst words together in the English language were "good enough." I don't want to be "good enough," I want to be lasting. I want to be stretched beyond being the status quo - and yes, I do realize, that by stating this and posting this, I am setting myself up for something beyond my control. Somehow in the midst of my dilemma, control has something to do with it: on the one hand, I want to control my future trajectory, on the other hand, I want to let go and rely on the Divine to guide me. Thus I find myself in what Robert Benson called "between the dreaming and the coming true" - I sincerely hope what is true for me thrives and swells beyond the average, and who knows, perhaps I'll pen a memoir about it someday..."

I have a hard time thinking I am good enough. I must be though my kids are surviving, being fed, clothed and healthy. There are days when I wish I was good enough. But I also deep inside want to be so much more than good enough.

There are so many things that I feel my heart tugging me to do but I think there are too many times I use the excuse I have small children at home to control what my heart is feeling. There are times that I don't read a book, a blog, or watch a video because I know that I will be moved to do something about it. I find myself going through my daily routine day after day while trying to ignore the bigger issues because I will want to go do something about it.

Don't get me wrong I love my husband and my children. I really wish I have embraced my compassionate heart at a young age and done some of the things that I want to do. I wish I had been in the place that I could have taken a year off between High School and College and I would have taken that opportunity to do my part to change the world. But maybe for now that's something I need to save for when my kids graduate from High School.

I have so many things that deep down in my heart I want to go and do to help others. But I have a problem voicing them and letting go of the control. I control every moment of my day. I can't image the something beyond my control happening because I don't let go and give my control over. The quote above- "between the dreaming and the coming true." I do a lot of dreaming. But I am afraid to let go and see if the coming true will happen. I hope that I can someday let go and rely on God to guide me and just maybe something wonderful beyond my control will happen.

This may not make sense to anyone but I guess it's something I needed to get out. There are so many other things going on in my head that I just can't seem to put into words. I am not a great writer and I am sure Eli will point out all my grammar and spelling mistakes later. oh well.

Making it myself

I was talking to a friend today as we were planting and watering our garden about all the things I had been making at home. I am amazed by the things I have been making at home and not buying at the store. Here's a list:

Laundry Soap
Dryer Sheets
Disinfectant spray
Bathroom cleaner

Bread
Cakes- not from a box!
Mac and cheese- not from a box

There are so many more things that I was to make instead of purchasing from the store. This next week I am going to make cornbread from scratch instead of out of a box.

I would love to get to the point that I am making all of our bread products instead of buying them.
There are a lot of other things that I want to make they are:
pizza crusts
drain cleaner
play dough
finger paint
spaghetti sauce
pizza sauce
jelly's and jams
I am sure there are more but I can't think of them right now.

As I make things I will post what I make.

Our Summer

So many things have happened since I blogged last. But those are in the past and I am not even going to try to sit here and think of all the things I have forgotten to blog about.

So for the here and now. School's out and I refuse to let the summer go to just laying around and doing nothing. I have come up with a daily schedule that we are just getting used to this week. The kids went to Papaw's for most of the week last week. What a way to start a summer, several days with Papaw. The kids had a blast and it was a great way to get geared up for the summer.

So back to our schedule.
We start the day by taking care of our bodies. This means getting up, getting dressed, brushing our teeth, brushing our hair, making our beds, and breakfast.
Then we move on to taking care of our souls. We do a devotion, a memory verse for the week (it usually reflects our theme for the week), and prayer.
Then we focus on our theme for the week. Here is what the breakdown of the week looks like.
Mondays
Intro to Theme activity
Movie about the theme
Tuesday
Math
Maps
Theme Activity
Wednesday
Science
Journal/Writing
Thursday
Songs/Poems
Art
Friday
Activities outside the house

I try to involve the theme in all we do. We finish everything by lunch. After lunch the kids have free time to do what they want until 4PM. At 4 it's clean up and chore time. Then at 6 they prepare for dinner. I usually have one kid help set the table and one help clean up the table. We eat as a family. Then after dinner, while our food digests, we are going to take 15 minutes or so and discuss the day. Something we learned, something God taught us, ect..

After we have sat and relaxed with some discussion after dinner we are going to move into taking care of our bodies again. This is the time where we can go take walks, ride bikes, run, play, swim, ect... Then we will finish with bathing, brushing and pj's. One of my goals is to be better at bedtime. I really want to sit down with each kid and pray with them and for them. I get so tired in the evening that I neglect in doing this. I need to do this.

We are going to strive hard to keep this schedule through the summer. We may end up switching around days if there is an activity outside the house we would like to do and then do that day's activities on Friday. Also if we have to go do something in the morning then we will do our daily activities in the afternoon.

Some of the themes we have for the summer are
Animals
Weather
Our State
Our Country - Independence
Being Green
Missionaries
Cooking
Super Hero's
Planets/Sky
Ocean
Water Fun- Just a fun week playing in the water.

I am also trying to find fun snacks and ways to incorporate cooking into our themes.
Alongside all of this we will be celebrating the Unique Holidays that are out there. I picked some that I thought would be fun to do.
Here is a list of Unique Holidays:

June
1- Doughnut Day
2- Nat. Rocky Road Day
7- Nat. Chocolate Ice Cream Day
10- Ice Tea Day
17- Father's Day
20- Ice Cream Soda Day
29- Waffle Iron Day

July
1-International Joke Day
4- 4th of July
12- Pecan Pie Day
15- Nat. Ice Cream Day
23- Hot Dog Day/Vanilla Ice Cream Day
28- Nat. Milk Chocolate Day
30- National Cheesecake Day

August
2- Nat. Ice Cream Sandwich Day
3- Nat. Watermelon Day
8- Sneak some Zucchini in Day
9- Book Lover's Day
10- National S'mores Day
14- Nat. Creamsicle Day
15- Relaxation Day
16- Nat. Tell a joke Day
17- Nat. Thrift Store day
30- Toasted Marshmallow Day
31- National Trail Mix Day

We love to have others join us for everything so if you want to come join our fun let me know. The more the merrier.