motherhood

I read these words on a blog they are from Katherine Center.

This is motherhood. We are living this movement everyday. We are defining it right now. This is how we love, share, worry, laugh, give up, give in and find a way to do it again, day in and day out without question, without skipping a beat, without regret.


WHAT I WOULD TELL HER: (If I knew what to say.)

You are a miracle.

And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.

You’ll forget all this when you grow up. But it’s okay.

Being a mother means having your heart broken.

And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.

And it’s the best there is. And also, sometimes, the worst.

Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.

Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.

But you must remember this: What you’re doing matters.

And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.

The truth is, being a woman is a gift. Tenderness is a gift. Intimacy is a gift. And nurturing the good in this world is a nothing short of a privilege.

That’s why I have to love you this way. So I can give what I have to you. So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on.

I have watched you sleep. I’ve kissed you a million times. And I know something that you don’t, yet:

You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.

And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.

"But"

I have found this organization that I really like, People of the Second Chance. Thier website says this
"We Are People of The Second Chance.
A Scandelous Movement of Radical Grace
in Life and Leadership.
OVERTHROW JUDGEMENT
LIBERATE LOVE"

I have really enjoyed reading their blog. Today they blogged about the word "But" It was a great blog you should go check it out here.

How to even reflect on 2009.

As 2009 went and 2010 came in I wrestled with the thought of blogging reflections of 2009. 2009 was filled with so many negative happenings and emotions. I thought maybe an easy way to reflect on 2009 was to make a blog titled the ABC's of 2009. Well as I created it and looked back over it I decided not to publish it. It was filled with so much hurt. So I will only focus on the highlights.

January-we found out we were expecting.

July-Ellie turned 5. She was able to drink pop and chew gum.
Eli and I celebrated 8 years of marriage

September- Lilly entered our lives

December- Silas turned 3.


There were some other things that happened this year that were good. We were able to spend some time with some friends. Eli was able to go to a Youth Workers convention. We have had some good family time this year.


While I was thinking about what to say about such a negative year I was listening to Kendall Payne in the car and heard a song that just really defined 2009 for me.
It is from the soundtrack for the movie "The Rising Place"
"God Bless the Heartaches"

Many times in our lifetime our heart knows despair
and I wonder why some souls must bleed

And sometimes I question just who would be there
in my dark hour of need

life can be so uncertain with pain all around and the heartbreak is so hard to face
But for everything lost there's another found
and love seeks it's own sacred space

God bless the heartaches
that reshape the soul in return
God keep our memories
and God bless the lessons we learn

It is out of the shadow we find warm sunlight
and there wouldn't be joy without sorrow
and there'd be no warning without the dark night
cause that's just how life seems to go

God bless the heartaches
that reshape the soul in return
God keep our memories
and God bless the lessons we learn

God bless the heartaches
God bless the tough breaks
God bless the lessons we learn

and again

Playing with Photoshop again

This is a little rough but I am working on it.

playing on our day off

This picture was taken early this morning. Today was a no school day so we stayed in our pj's a bit longer than usual.
Silas is so into rockets these days. Today they played that it was Big Jett's birthday. Big Jett is in Silas' hand. I love how all the animals have a plate of food. It's great. They got along all morning. I hated to tell them to clean up but clean up is a must before lunch and before bed, it helps me keep my sanity.

A day out

Yesterday we all decided we needed to get out of the house. So we started towards Chillicothe and ended up in Circleville at the Grandview outlet. Eli had never been there so this was quite an experience for him. I had visited this location and the one in Wellston. We found some awesome finds. I purchased a winter coat for Silas for next winter, $2.50, yep that was two dollars and fifty cents. We also found a Eco-friendly backpack for Ellie, $1.95. We found somethings we would like to later go back and purchase.

After hitting up the Grandview outlet we headed to Chillicothe. BW3's was calling my name. That is one of the few restaurants that I actually crave something from. I always get the Naked Chicken Wrap with Parmesan Garlic sauce. We ended up our venturing with a trip to Menards to exchange something.

Once we were home we ended up the evening with Ice Cream and movies. The kids watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and Eli and I watched "Inglorious Basterds".

The kids said their movie was great. I plan to watch it today.

Our movie was great! It had language and was gross in some parts but was a fantastic movie. I plan on watching it again.