I am a woman and it is good!

being a youth leader

2012-01-30T09:03:00.002-05:00

I was reading a blog today and it totally derailed me from what I had thought I would blog about today. I had thought I would blog my reflections about the service from two weeks ago at church. I am still reflecting and mulling over that one. It was a good one but I guess the post will have to come later.

So I know this guy and I read his blog. He is pretty passionate about youth ministry but he also is a father of teenagers. He gets to see both sides of the process. He posted the following words here on his blog:

"Don’t be overwhelmed, my friend. We parents (well, at least most of us) don’t want to take all your time. We don’t want to change you. We are immensely grateful for how you bless us and our kid with your time and focus.

Just remember that we’re here, please. Remember that we care passionately about our children, and would sacrifice our own lives for them if necessary. Remember that we mean well, even though we’re not perfect. Remember that we’re afraid we’re not doing this well, and that our precious children are going to go off the deep end because of our inadequacies.

We don’t need you to reinvent your entire ministry to come hold our hands. But we need you to communicate with us. We need you to listen. We need you to be curious about our motives and assume good. We’d love you to tell us what you’re seeing about teenagers and youth culture and—especially—our own son or daughter.

If you do those things, we will be so blessed, so grateful, that we will forever be your biggest fan. We will speak highly of you, and praise you to all peoples!

Ok, I’m getting a little cheesy there. But you get the idea. From me—a dad—thanks. Really."

I wanted to cry after reading this. I struggle every week. I would do anything to convey to this kids how much Jesus loves them. How important communicating with Jesus is. How much I love and care for them. How important it is to be committed and devoted to Jesus is. How it, He, can totally change your life. How important and beautiful or handsome they are. I try so hard to let them know how much they are loved. That their ideas and feelings matter. I want so badly for them to grow into a deep relationship with Jesus.
But sometimes I wonder if what i do even makes a difference.
Every once in a while you get the glimpses that what you do makes a difference. But I can't say I've had a glimpse of that in a while.

There are several things I have learned in being a youth leader that I plan on putting into practice when my kids are in youth.
1. Say Thank you and say it often. A simple Thank you can go a long way. Saying thank you shows that you care that they are there investing in your child's life.
2. offer to watch the youth leaders kids while they are there investing in my child's life. I have learned that having your kids there in another room is very stressful and it's really hard to pay someone every week to watch your kids during youth. I feel like that's the least I could do when the youth leader is taking time from his family to convey to my child how much Jesus loves him or her and while teaching him what it is to be a follower of Jesus.

Currently

2012-01-27T06:41:00.002-05:00

I saw this idea on a blog I read this morning and I thought I would play along.

current book/blog(s):
(i'm not currently reading anything, so i'm gonna share my favorite current blogs)
Kisses From Katie
Picky Palate
from the natos
Impress You Kids

current playlist:
All Sons and Daughters
current fav:
All The Poor and Powerless

current color:
Chocolate- I blog I read was referring to pedicures. I've never had one, I just simply paint my nails myself.

current food:
Stromboli- the rolled up pizza not the sandwhich

current favorite show/movie:
movie: Pride and Prejudice (still)
show: Parenthood

current need:
to organize my thoughts
clean up our messy house
start getting some exercise

current outfit:
Jeans and my favorite t-shirt (it's a TOMS t-shirt)

current triumph
honestly, that I am starting to feel human again after being sick for so long.
I have started using onions in my cooking, instead of skipping them.
I opened a bottle of wine all by myself (I've never done this and never been given the tutorial)
I know a couple silly things but a triumph is a triumph and I don't have to have E here to open a bottle

current bane of my existence:
the bathroom
and
Laundry-it's folded just not put away.
OH YEAH, and the mouse in my house.

current favorite quote:
‎"Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us." Marianne Williamson

current indulgence:
Cinnamon Jelly Hearts-I only get these one month out of twelve.

current #1 blessing:
my pastor

current excitement:
Feb. 4th-a shopping trip with the hubby and getting to see a friend from Cali.

current mood:
tired- not just physically. Emotionally, mentally, my heart is tired

current favorite product:
Febreeze- New Zealand Springs air freshener.
and
C.O. Bigelow Cinnamint lip gloss

Love

2012-01-23T11:45:00.002-05:00

Somedays I find myself wanting to beat my head against the wall. I often wonder why we make it so hard to do something so simple. Love people as Jesus would.
It seems like we put so many rules and regulations on who we can invite in, talk to, hang with, love on. We, I, need to look at all the people that Jesus hung with and loved on.
I know that some people are difficult to hang out with or talk to. But just because someone gets to us or rubs us the wrong way doesn't mean they are not worthy of love. Is it easy for Jesus to love everyone? Is it easy for Jesus to love me, a sinner? Sometimes people just need us to reach out and show or do something for them that says you are cared for and loved.
i know there are days when I find it difficult to talk to someone or be around them but I would do anything I could to convey to them that they are cared for and loved.
We don't have to be friends with everyone, we don't have to spend time with them, we don't have to do anything but maybe smile, say hi, send a card, make a meal, whatever small thing we can do to convey our God's great love for them.

Anyways I will stop this little rant now.

Look back and remember.

2012-01-17T23:13:00.004-05:00

This is an excerpt from a blog I read that I had to share.

'“I just want to remember,” she says matter-of-factly, and she pulls the covers right back up over her head.

It is well after our 8 o’clock bed time. I have been sunk deep in the couch and in the Word knowing that 13 pairs of feet were tucked snugly in 13 beds. But as I make my way from the couch to my room, something catches my eye and I peek my head in the girls’ bedroom.

There flat on the cold, hard tile floor is my 11 year old with her blanket pulled tightly around herself. It doesn’t look as if she has rolled out of bed; it looks intentional. I nudge her awake. “Honey, what are you doing on the floor?” Why would anyone ever choose to sleep on this, the hardest of surfaces, with a comfortable bed just inches away?

“Remember,” she mumbles sleepily, “I just want to remember. Some people don’t have a bed,mom. I didn’t have a bed, mom. God gave me a bed. And I wanted to remember what it was like to not have one.”

We have to remember. Because how can we ever move forward if we don’t look back? This God, He makes promises and in remembering we see the truth: this God, He keeps promises.'

I served as Assistant Lay Director this weekend on a Chrysalis flight. During the weekend the local Christian book store has a book table they set out. On this table laid a book called "Kisses from Katie", the cover of the book drew me in.

As I read the back of the book I was so moved! I was talking to another lady about this book and on a break we pulled up Katie's blog. As we both set there and read we cried. Not a bad cry, it was a my soul is deeply moved cry.
I cannot wait to get this book and read it. I would love to find someone to read it with. So that I have someone to discuss it with and someone who would keep me level headed as I read it. But whether anyone wants to or not my goal is to read this soon. I have even looked into trips to this area.

Something someone said this weekend really struck me. I have wondered if it was just me but maybe not. My friend Peg said "I wish I was where you girls are spiritually when I was your age." I have met and worked with so many young ladies and young men that have such an amazing grasp on their spiritual life. I really wish I would have had that grasp and that understanding like they do. I wish that I would have thought that I could go and serve. I wish I had been far enough along in my faith to understand my gifts and be in the with who I am and that God created me this way. But here we are and I am just now discovering my gifts and really grasping why I am the way I am and it's because God wanted me to be this way.

I used to hate my compassionate heart and that I would cry all the time. Sometimes I never knew why. Tears just seem to flow from my eyes all the time and it's rarely because something is wrong with me. I cry when I am hurt, happy, proud, excited, angry and blessed. I cry when others are hurting. I honestly deeply feel for others.

Why am I typing all this? I really don't know.

Oh wait yes I know. It's okay to cry! That's my heart! I feel deeply and it comes out in tears. Tears are my release. Wether it be a happy release or a blessed release or a hurt release.

I truly want to do all I can for others. As I read the blog that I linked to above and watched the video on her blog so many thing resonated with me.

Not that I don't love my life now. Because I do. I love my hubby! I love my kiddos! I have always wanted to be married and be a mommy. I know that God geared me up to do so. But I also believe that God geared me up to be in tune to what others need. To feel what others feel. I believe He is setting me up for something. It may not be soon, it may be after my kids are grown but I feel something coming. I feel that it could be a number of things so I guess we will see what happens.

Recap of the Holidays

2012-01-12T09:26:00.002-05:00

It's been a while and I just have honestly been pushing off this post.

Our Christmas celebrating started in November when Advent started. I tried really hard everyday to help the kids focus on Jesus being the reason for Christmas. Not Santa and presents. I don't know if it worked but their young so if I keep it up every year then maybe it'll all work out in the end.

We started the gift giving the Sunday before Christmas. This year we made gift bags for all the people who had helped us out throughout the year. A way to say thank you for caring for us and helping us out. Then that week we headed to my parents for Christmas celebrating. It was different this year. I have to say I do miss the Apricot Salad, Hot Ham and Cheese Sandwiches, Aunt Sandy's fruit salad, cookies and cheesecake. But we had some yummy Pizza and then Roast and Rice and Broccoli the net day so that was good. The kids were very excited about their gifts. I received some clothing and these things you put in the micro wave and you can make chips. They are yummy! Eli received a drimmel and he is eager to drimmel something. We had a very nice visit. The first night we were there Lilly was up ALL night coughing. Something about that Mid Ohio Valley air. I always get stuffed up when we visit. But she was all better the second night and slept well.

We left my parents on the 23rd so we could spend Christmas Eve at home doing Christmas Eve stuff and so Eli could get ready for the service. We baked cookies, picked up the house a bit, and watched movies together. We also went to church together, it was a very nice service. That night the kids didn't say anything about setting cookies out or anything. I put them to bed and then thought about it, oh well. Santa still came, amazing.

In our home Santa brings one gift and fills the stockings. Santa doesn't wrap either. So there is the clear distinction between what Santa brings and what we get them. They usually get 5 gifts, one from Santa and then one from each of us. The kids are getting to the age where they want to get things for each other so I think next year I am going to let them go shopping for each other, instead of me picking it all out.

So anyways we woke up Christmas morning. Okay well Daddy woke up and then Silas shortly after and he was up for a good hour before the rest of us. We had some very excited kids. They were happy and fun all morning. We are pretty sure that Lilly ate a Squinkie-the green goblin. She had it in her hand and then it disappeared, who knows.
We always have cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning. Ellie used to protest but this year she ate them and liked them. I like this tradition. Maybe I will move to making them homemade but for now they are Pillsbury, you know the yummy ones in the can. We had a great morning together.

We all got ready and headed for Kayla and Dan's. We had a nice day of visiting, eating, game playing and present exchanging. The kids again were so excited. Eli and I received a Wine Cooler for Eli's dad. It's awesome! I also received some kitchen items and a blank cookbook. I quickly converted it to the Our Favorites Cookbook. With all the experimenting with recipes we have been doing we are finding a lot of new recipes we like and I figured this was the best way to keep them. I also got more Microwave chip maker things. We had a good day with the family. There were some tears but it was all good. In going through somethings and Eli's parents home we found some gifts that Savilla had gotten all the sisters. We also found some items she had gotten for the grand kids. She got Silas a pair of Spiderman rain boots and Ellie a froggy jewelry box.

Our last Christmas celebration was at Eli's grandparents. It was held on New Years Day. So we went up early and spent the whole weekend. It was a nice visit with the family. While there I had the opportunity to take Melva's nieces Senior Pictures. It was something I had never done and i was nervous. Luckily Melva went with me and helped me out with posing. I think the pics turned out pretty good. They aren't as good as a professional could do but I did the best I could. I am still wanting to do some more editing on them and try some things on them but I think they aren't bad.

After getting home we took down the tree and prepared the house for Silas' birthday celebration. We let him have pop and gum on his actually birthday and took him out to eat and got him a milkshake. But we waited till people could come and help us celebrate to have a party.

As I reflect back on all of this I think this Christmas season was the most relaxing and enjoyable we have had in a while. I felt like I was doing really well until I got sick and then I kind of lost my steam. It took 2 rounds of antibiotics to kick strep and whatever else it was. There are things that I want to change for next year but I really like doing the advent calendar and the advent wreath. I think it was a good season.

Time for resolutions.

2011-12-28T09:31:00.002-05:00

Well the New Year is quickly approaching us and it's time for people to start promising themselves promises that will typically only be kept till February. I have been there done that. So this year I am going to focus on things that I want to work towards becoming better at.

1. I want to garden. I think I need to start on a small scale. Eventually I would like to get to the point where I can have a big enough garden that I will be able to can vegetables that will last us till the next year. I want to be able to make my tomato sauce, pizza sauce, and spaghetti sauce. I really would like to be able to get to the point that I do not have to buy veggies at the store.

2. I suppose this is part of gardening but I am separating the two. I would like to grow my own herbs and learn how to dry them and freeze them.

3. I would like to become better at couponing. There is money to be saved, more than what I am now. I want to learn how the coupons can stack. I think part of this is also to not take the kids grocery shopping. I think I need to set time aside when I can go by myself and not feel guilty for being gone and not feel like I have a time limit to be gone grocery shopping. I need to take them time to find the deals and clip the coupons and really use them.

4. I want to become better at sewing. I know there are things that I could make instead of going out and buying them and it would save money. I talked to my sister in law Kayla and she said she would help me learn to sew. I mean I know how to do very simple things but I want to learn the complex. Some of the things I would like to make this next year are a new tree skirt for out Christmas tree, curtains, and there are some other random things.

5. I want to perfect my noodle making, my pasta and my bread making. I would love to get to the point where I didn't buy pasta, bread or noodles at the store anymore.

6. I would like to have some more organization in my life. I started this December with a monthly menu. It has been so nice to know what we are going to have and be able to have meals ready when Eli gets home from work. I need to start up my cleaning schedule again.

7. I really need to get some type of exercise this year. I had wanted to start using the wii fit again and had grand plans but then our tv was stolen and we can't use our wii till we get a new tv. I am hoping that shortly after the first of the year we will be able to get a tv.

8. I want to work on photography a bit more, I have a lot to learn.

9. I want to focus more on spending quality time with my family and friends.

10. I want to work on purging some of the things that we really don't need to hang on to.

11. I want a work station for my crafting and sewing.

I am sure I probably could go on and on. I think I will stop there for now. I need to be realistic in all this. I know that this list is something that may take the whole year or a couple years but it's something to work towards.

The end of Advent

2011-12-27T16:31:00.004-05:00

So the last week on Advent was a little busy but we tried to stay on track.
Sunday 18th- build a snowman together. I think that when I put this on the calendar I was hoping for real snow. But there we were with 60 degree weather. So we got a little creative.

Monday 19th- Camp out under the tree. The kids slept in the living room with the tree and watched a movie.
Tuesday 20th- Have a birthday party for Jesus. This was so much fun. We invited some friends over and had a party.

Wednesday 21st- deliver gifts to families that have shown our family love and suppose this year. We actually did this early because we ended up leaving for my parents this day.
Thursday 22nd- make reindeer food. we didn't get to this one. we just ended up relaxing at my parents.
Friday 23rd- Watch a Christmas movie that you have never seen. We watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. We have seen it many times but the kids had never seen it.
Saturday 24th- Attend church together and read The Night Before Christmas. We all went to church. Lilly fell asleep shortly after we got there. After dinner we looked at the book The Night Before Christmas while daddy recited it. Eli had to memorize it in school and he still knows 85% of it.

We had this season and I look forward to tweaking our calendar a bit next year. I think next year we will add in the 12 days of Christmas celebration.

End of the third week of Advent

2011-12-19T18:32:00.008-05:00

With me being sick at the beginning of the week and Lilly ending the week with being sick gave us a interesting week. So here's what was on the Calendar to this week:
Dec. 11th- Make a Ginger Bread Manger together. (This didn't happen. Instead I went to Urgent care. I was diagnosed with Strep, which I knew I had.)
Dec. 12th- Take Family Christmas pics. This didn't happen either! Mainly because I was not having a pic taken of me looking the way I did. So I figured when everyone is well we will take it.

WOW! We are doing very well this week.

Dec. 13th- Make Peppermint Bark together. The kids had a lot of fun smashing the candy canes. The peppermint Bark was so yummy, I blogged the recipe HERE!
Dec. 14th- Build a puzzle together. Ellie doesn't have the patience for puzzles but Silas likes to do them.
Dec. 15th- Decorate Sugar Cookies together. This was fun! Here are some pics:

Dec. 16th- Play Games Together The kids played games together while we worked to wrap presents for our Adopted family and put the gift baskets together that we were giving the people that have helped us out this year.
Dec. 17th- Go out and enjoy Hot Chocolate from Tim's. We were so busy on Sat. that we didn't make it to Tim's but I made the kids hot Chocolate Friday night and we drank it and watched Christmas movies. Can't watch movies at Tim's!

It has been a trying week but it has been a good week. We are eagerly awaiting Jesus' birthday.

WOW! It's that time of year.

2011-12-13T12:19:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year when people start wrapping up the year. The today show posted the mysterious "Who will be People Magazine's 2011 person of the year" post today. Seeing that kind of made the end of the year reality. Really this is it the end has come, that it the end of 2011. And to that I say good ridden!

It has been a long hard year. As I look back I see a whole lot of negative that 2011 has healed for us. And yet in all those negatives there are hidden nuggets of love and support.

The year started out pretty smooth I think. I am having a hard time remembering the first of the year. Hmm, note to self you maybe should journal and keep track better.

In May Eli was in a car accident totaling his car. He was okay though!

In June we had to have our Septic tank worked on. That caused a huge mess but wasn't as bad as we expected.

In June I went with our youth group on a Mission Trip to Bay City, MI. What a trip! AMAZING!

I think maybe July is when the year started to rapidly go down hill.

I was on a Chrysalis team. During the Sunday night of the weekend while Eli was away at some secret event, lol, our home was broken into. The person kicked in the front door and then ripped the tv off the wall and left. We had to replace the front door, the wall and the tv. The front door was the most immediate replacement that needed to happen. We had a guy from our church who came and put it in for us for free. It took us a while but in August we finally got the dry wall fixed and again a guy in our church who knows how to dry wall came and fixed it for us. The tv well, we are saving for that. The funny thing is that not weeks before we sold our only spare tv in a yard sale. I laughed, what else can you do. About a month after a family in our church came and said I am bring you a tv. We have an old one just sitting around and you can use it till you can get one. I don't know who was more thankful for that me or the kids.

The next weekend after my flight Eli was on a team. And that was just all together a rough weekend of hearing noises and such. Oh and the van broke down.

Well the next weekend was our planned and paid for 10 year anniversary trip. We took the MegaBus to Chicago and then took the train to San Francisco. From there we rented a car and drove to Napa Valley. Getting a car was quite an adventure. So much that I was in tears, go figure! Our hotel in Napa was Amazing. We actually were staying in the Sonoma Valley but drove to Napa Valley the 2 days we were there. We have some great friends that live in St. Helena. It was so nice to be able to spend time with them and see where they are living. They taught so much about the area and wine. It was a lot of fun. We did have more rental car drama but who doesn't have rental car drama. We also had bank drama while there. "Sir someone in California is trying to use your debit card. We turned it off." We had a bit of money issues as well. Luckily a friend picked up the insurance check from our mail box and deposited it to our account. Cause of course we spent our spending money on a new front door. Doesn't everyone right before they go on vacation? But luckily that all worked out and we had our spending money back. After many wine tastings and sight seeing we left heaven and headed to San Francisco. We drove to Muir Woods, Amazing! We drove over the Golden Gate Bridge and down Lombard Street. We drove along the Embarcadero and across the by bridge. We were on the lower level of the Bay Bridge in bumper to bumper stand still traffic. Can I just say never again will I be on that bridge. Talk about an Anxiety attack I think we were close a couple of times. We then got lost in Oakland, yes in Oakland. I cried! I was scared it wasn't pretty! Oakland is not a very inviting place and the news doesn't help that a bit. We got to the airport turned our car in and headed on public transportation to our hotel. We go there late! We got our hotel room and then decided we were starving. I don't think we ate lunch that day. We were deep in the forest with the red woods. Did I mention that was too amazing for words. So anyways on with the night. We decided to walk tot dinner. It was dark, cold and did I mention late. So late that the only people out on the streets near our hotel were homeless, gangsters, and hookers. I was scared. I think I cut the circulation off in Eli's finger because I was grasping them too hard. But then we got to union Square and things were a bit more populated. We ate at the Cheesecake factory on top of the Macy's. It was cold but the food was so good. This was actually our anniversary day so we had a good meal. At dinner I told Eli "we are taking the Bart back to the hotel." I was not about to walk back there 2 hours later than when we walked from there. So we finished out our trip in San Fran with trips around on the cable cars, see the Golden Gate Bridge, seeing Alcatraz, 2 trips to Ghiradelli (YUMM!), and a trip to Fisherman's warf. It was a good trip with many other things mixed in that we did. I am not one to go to a city I have never been to and just sit. I want to go see and do everything that I can. I also refuse to eat in restaurants that I can eat in at home. Well except Cheesecake Factory but it's one of the only places we knew of that was open late and we rarely go there. We finished up and flew home. Wow, what a trip but it was good. The kids spent that time with Eli's parents. Savilla took them to the flea market to look for treasures and all kinds of things. It was good that they were with her then. I know it made her tired but she would not have had it any other way. Looking back it was such blessing that she was feeling good and they got to spend that week with her.

August brought us back to school. Ellie and I were both excited. I think we both hoped this year would go better. She has a great teacher this year.

September was hard.

My washer backed up all over the laundry room. The same day that happened Savilla was admitted in the hospital. Eli was there almost every day and night. September was hard, finding out there really wasn't anything they could do and that the cancer had spread. While things were not going well with Eli's mom we had some time with her. She had her good days and bad. She was having a hard time with her short term memory but the kids were able to spend some of her last days smiling with her and laughing. It was good to have those days even though they were really hard for those of us that understood they were some of her last. But through all this I had people that tried to help figure out my washer so I could do laundry. I had friends doing my laundry, helping with my kids when they were sick, and I had friends bring me pizza at 10PM just to be with me.

October became a little more difficult. Waiting for what's coming was hard. You never know the day but you know it's coming. I can honestly say there isn't much that I remember. I even slacked with the kids Halloween costumes. We used what we had an borrowed. Which isn't bad but then didn't really get to be what they wanted to be. We spent some time at the Hospice Care Unit with Eli and the family. Eli came and went Trick or Treating with us. I was also on an Emmaus team and the weekend was this month. It was really hard. I could see Savilla in everything we did. I was an emotional mess and will probably never be ask to be on another team.

November started out sad. We had to say goodbye to a wonderful woman. It was hard on the kids and it still is especially Silas. Eli's car has had issues this month. Eli went to Youth Workers and while he was gone the van yes it broke down. Eli went and got to be with some good friends that he doesn't get to see that often. I am sure it was nice for him to get out a town for a couple days and be able to focus on something else. We had a good Thanksgiving to spite Savilla not being there. During the month of November we made a Thankful Tree. Every day we put a leaf on the tree with something we were thankful for. At then end of the month we had a very full tree.

December has come and we are knee deep in December. We are 1/2 way through Advent and so close to Christmas. I am trying to say no to things that I don't need to take time away from my family to do. I am trying to say let's wait till January to do that. I am trying to be with my family and do things together as we prepare for Christmas. I am praying that the end of the year is so uneventful and we can just relax and enjoy each other.

As I typed this and looked back maybe 2011 wasn't all that bad. There was good in everything negative that happened. And heck we had an amazing trip to Cali. I just pray that 2012 is maybe a little less eventful. When you can recognize and see the hand of Christ in what happens. And see that good comes from the bad things that happen so there not all that bad. But a little less eventfulness would be nice. I am kind of afraid to post this. I am afraid if I do something will happen. Oh well good will come from it.

End of the Second week of Advent

2011-12-12T09:17:00.000-05:00

This week went by very quickly. Here's what we did according to our Advent Calendar.
Dec. 4th- Rest and enjoy time together. Nothing like a lazy Sunday afternoon nap.

Dec. 5th- Make Christmas cards together. Here's a pic:

Dec. 6th- Play a round of Uno before bed. My kids love to play Uno and so do I.

Dec. 7th- Sing Christmas songs together while traveling in the car. This was fun. We spent a lot of time in the car today so we got a lot of songs sung.

Dec. 8th- go buy and donate canned goods. Ellie's school was collecting so we just let her take them to school the next day and donate them.

Dec. 9th- pile in the car and go check out Christmas lights together. We had a lot of fun looking at lights. There is a house not far from ours that we have deemed the best decorated house this year. Daddy was with the boys that night so we need to take him to see this house. It was really pretty.

Dec. 10th- Make Christmas treats together. I woke up this morning feeling like crap but we pushed through the day. We made Hot Chocolate stirrers and Chocolate covered marshmallows. We also made out own green sprinkles.

Our security

2011-12-05T18:00:00.001-05:00

2 weeks ago Marty spoke at our church while Mike was out of town. I think one of the most interesting things he said during his message was when he showed this clip. He talked about Linus and his blanket. Linus' blanket was his security, he never put it down. But Linus had such security and compassion in the story he was telling that he had to put his blanket down and use both hands to tell it. It took both hands and the story was at that moment his security. Do we have that kind of security in the story of Jesus or in Jesus the man, our Lord? Do we hold onto other things that become our security, things we can't let go of to tell of Jesus and experience him?

The end of the first week of Advent

2011-12-05T10:11:00.003-05:00

Since my last post I figured it would be easier to post about Advent a week at a time. So I only did half of the first week in my previous post so I will finish that week up here and then post about this week on Saturday.

Dec. 2nd- We made a hand wreath. I think it turned out really cute.

Dec. 3rd- We played games together.
We played Whack-a-Mole and Uno. We had fun for a while and then a certain person got aggravated with Uno and cheated by giving all his cards to Silas when Si wasn't looking and made the kids think he won. That's when things went downhill. Silas started sobbing because he didn't win. We got the kids ready for bed and did our devotion and then once we left the room Ellie started saying things to Si to upset him. It was a horrible bed time.

The kids really enjoy getting to see what is under the flap on the calendar each day. And for the most part they enjoy the activities.

Advent

2011-12-01T20:37:00.004-05:00

It dawned on me tonight that it would be good to post about what we are doing for Advent. I made a Calendar.

I started it on the 28th, I should have started it on the 27th but I messed up. So we took the 27th to explain Advent to the kids and to start this devotional that I got to do with the kids. This devotional is very simple and easy for the kids to understand.
So with the Advent Calendar I put an activity for us to do as a family for each day. So far we have done the following;
Nov. 28th-Set up the Nativity
Nov. 29th-Watch a movie about Jesus and Christmas
Nov. 30th-hang up the Christmas countdown
Dec. 1st.- Start reading The Best Christmas Pagent Ever.
tomorrow we are suppose to make a wreath made from cut outs of the kids hands.
I think this is going to be fun and hopefully it will encourage family bonding and being more aware of the reason for Christmas. I know that my kids know that we have Christmas to celebrate the birth of Jesus. But to often Santa and the hype gets in the way. I don't think the thought of Santa is entirely bad. I think that putting Santa above and before Jesus is when we get into trouble. The idea of Santa came from a great account that all kids need to learn about.

Monthly Menu

2011-12-01T20:26:00.002-05:00

When my life becomes unorganized I can't think clearly. I like to have lists and schedules for everything. I can be spontaneous but it is becoming less and less the older I get. I like to be prepared for what's coming. Before Thanksgiving I was had everything organized and was ready for things through the end of the year. I was ready for Advent, for gifts, for activities, for almost everything. Last week I even sat down and planned out a menu for the month. I have every meal scheduled breakfast, lunch and dinner. I started to get really down on myself the other day because I hadn't had the menu up 2 days and already had to change it. I had to stop myself and let myself be flexible and not beat myself up because I couldn't fulfill the plan for dinner that night. I had to tell myself that it was okay and sometimes day and evenings get hectic and you just have to rearrange things and it's okay to rearrange. So I am trying to stick with the menu and be okay with changing it up a bit.

A Very Merry Christmas Q&A

2011-11-28T07:31:00.002-05:00

1. egg nog or hot chocolate? hot chocolate

2. does santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? just sits them under the tree

3. colored lights on tree/house or white? love the simplicity of white

4. do you hang mistletoe? yes

5. when do you put your decorations up? Try to the day after Thanksgiving but this year it was 2 days after

6. what is your favorite holiday dish? Ham, Aunt Sandy's fruit salad, Cheese, Broccoli and Rice casserole

7. favorite holiday memory as a child? Being together with my cousins on Christmas Eve.

8. when and how did you learn the truth about santa? I don't remember

9. do you open a gift on christmas eve? no

10. how do you decorate your christmas tree? It's pre lit with white lights. Then we each get an ornament every year and a family ornament so we hang those up.

11. snow! love it or dread it? looove it

12. can you ice skate? I have only gone twice

13. do you remember your favorite gift? Cabbage Patch doll, TV

14. what's the most important thing about the holidays for you? Celebrating the birth of Jesus

15. what is your favorite holiday dessert? Aunt Sandy's Cheesecake, cookies, fudge, Hard tac candy

16. what is your favorite holiday tradition? Going to church on Christmas Eve

17. what tops your tree? a star

18. which do you prefer: I love to get gifts but it is so rewarding to give. I love to give more than just gifts.

19. candy canes: yuck or yum? yummy, if they are cinnamon

20. favorite christmas show? Elf, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

21. saddest christmas song? Christmas Shoes

22. what is your favorite christmas song? We Three Kings off of Michael W. Smith's album Christmastime

Tis the Season

2011-11-25T07:55:00.004-05:00

Well Thanksgiving has come and gone. I really don't want to take down our Thankful tree. I am debating on keeping it up but I don't know. Maybe I could just create a Christmas tree on the wall and we could add ornaments to it. I dunno, it's just nice to be reminded of all we are thankful for when we see it. We should continue to be thankful for the things we have and are given and the people who are in our lives.

Today is the day to clean the house and prepare to put up the Christmas tree. I think this evening the tree will go up and be decorated. I am really excited about celebrating Christmas with the kids this year. So I guess I should get off here and fix my kids breakfast and get started cleaning in the preparation for the Christmas decor.

Oh and I am so excited that I can get the fire place DVD out and turn on the Christmas music.

Today is Thanksgiving.

2011-11-24T15:50:00.002-05:00

I am sitting here watching Underdog with my kids. We have already had our Thanksgiving meal, breakfast. It was yummy but I as I sit here I can't help but miss the noodles, rolls, mashed potatoes, stuffing, deviled eggs, broccoli and cheese casserole, grandma's fruit salad thingy, the pies and cookies.
I understand that this year things had to be done differently and will never be the same. This day is so different! Many things are very different about today.
Instead of a lunch we had breakfast.
Instead of playing games there is target practicing.
Silas hasn't said anything yet but he is so super sensitive today. Lilly just keeps asking where Mama is. I told her she is with Jesus and she said "Mama goodbye Jesus." I think she was a little ticked off when I told her mama had to stay with Jesus.
I don't mind having Thanksgiving breakfast but we do need to eat the rest of the day so I think next year I am demanding, okay requesting, that we have noodles, rolls, mashed potatoes, stuffing, deviled eggs, broccoli and cheese casserole, and pies! I don't care if we have turkey or not, I don't really care for it. But the sides they are another story!
So while this year and all others are different and we are going to miss the presence, time, laughter and love. There are new traditions to begin while we hold onto all the memories of times we have.

I am loving this season more and more.

2011-11-20T18:52:00.002-05:00

Thanksgiving this year isn't going to be huge. We are going to have breakfast with Eli's dad on Thanksgiving morning. But other than that we have no plans. The past three months have been so hectic and family time has been very few and far between. Silas, my little homebody, is constantly wanting to b at home and wanting all of us there with him. So I think that we are going to stay home and have some family time at home. The day after Thanksgiving is typically the day that we put up the Christmas tree.

I am very excited for the Christmas season this year. The day after Thanksgiving we will take down our thankful tree and put up our Christmas tree. I have made an Advent calendar for this year. I am hoping to stick with the advent devotions and such. Instead of the kids getting a gift or us creating a picture or whatever everyday of Advent I am putting things for us to do together under each days flap. Things like Go look at Christmas lights, go get hot chocolate, have a snowball fight, make a snowman, read the real Christmas story and set up the nativity, go buy canned goods and donate them. Those are just a few of the things we are going to be doing.

We are also doing Elf on the Shelf this year. I have a lot of fun and exciting things planned for that. I am excited to see our elf arrive and see what he is up to every night while the kids sleep. I know it's silly but I think the kids will have fun with it.

I am trying to incorporate the Advent Calendar and the Elf on the Shelf as much as I can. I am hoping it will create a little less work for me.

I also saw this cute countdown to Christmas thing on Pinterest that I am going to make with some help from my hubby. It's Santa's face and you put a cotton ball on his beard until Christmas. I am going to have the kids help me count the cotton balls and then put them in a jar and then they can see the cotton balls become less and less in the jar and Santa's beard fill out.

I just hope that this Christmas season we can focus on our family and the celebration of God sending His Son to Earth.

I don't feel like we go overboard for our kids for Christmas. Santa brings one gift and fills their stocking and then we each get the kids something. So they get a total of 5 gifts and the stocking. I try to get 2 family gifts. They are usually a game we can play together and a movie we can watch together.

I have so much baking and cooking that I want to do in December. Here are a few of the things I am hoping to make:
Apple Cranberry Pie
Peppermint Bark
Cookies, lots of cookies
Sea Salt Caramels
Hard Tack candy
Hot Cocoa stirrers
Marshmellows
Enchilada Soup
Lasagna Soup
Chicken and Dumplings

I could list so many more things.

I think that during the end of fall and the winter months I am going to try to make a new soup every week. We will see how that goes. Maybe I will even blog about it very week.

It's 5AM

2011-11-09T05:40:00.002-05:00

It's so quiet in my home at 5AM. I was sitting here thinking and found myself praying for God to heal the babies from the Son of God Orphanage in Haiti.
I can't imagine what those babies and children have seen and what they have had to do.
I pray that God would not only heal their wounds from being burned and sitting in their own waste. But that God would heal their hearts, their minds, and their souls.
I pray that they would feel God's loving arms wrapped around them.

I know their are many more cases of trafficking in Haiti and around the world. I just pray that justice would come upon those who do this. No one should ever be sold or taken advantage of in this way, NO ONE! I pray that God would restore those who have been trafficked whether it be by choice or by force into it.

ABC's of me.

2011-08-22T08:10:00.003-05:00

I saw this on a blog and thought I would play along

age :: 35

bed size :: queen, we are downsizing!

chore you hate :: cleaning the bath room

dogs :: Oscar Miner wiener Dog

essential start to your day :: advil and pepsi

favorite color :: Chocolate

gold or silver :: silver

height :: 5'3"

instruments you play :: used to play the piano, would love to learn to play the guitar

job title :: stay at home mommy

kids :: Binky Boo or Ellie, Bugga Boo or SIlas, and Little Lilly Lu Lu or LillaBee or Lilly.

live :: Ohio

maiden name :: Rodgers

nicknames :: Thelma, Windmill-but those were both in High School. Haven't had one since

overnight hospital stays :: Ellie's birth, the internal bleeding incident, Silas' Birth, Lilly's birth

pet peeve :: when there are two doors and you are exiting a place and instead of using the other door people just at like you are in their way and wait for you to exit. I want to scream there are two doors use the other one.

quote :: lots of favs but here's one: "I screamed at God for all the starving children, and then I realized that all of the starving children were God screaming at me."

righty or lefty :: right

siblings :: younger brother

time you wake up :: this summer-whenever
once i get a schedule back 6AM

university attended :: University of Rio Grande

vegetables you dislike: cauliflower, Lima beans

what makes you run late :: i try really hard to be 15 minutes early but usually forgetting something and turning around to go back and get it.

x-rays you’ve had :: chest, shoulder, teeth

yummy food :: pizza, roast and dumplings, PASTA

zoo animal favorite :: giraffe's and hippo's

Save your self.

2011-08-10T17:00:00.003-05:00

I was reading this article and I think over all it's a good thing.

Now I really don't want my child to be taught from someone I don't know how to put a condom on at the age of 11. So if I know it's coming I am going to show her/him all about it at home first and talk to her/him before they get hit with it at school.

But let's face reality. Kids are having sex at a very young age and my daughter will probably be in class with some of those kids. There are some kids whose parents will never ever tell them anything about their body or about sex. You say no that's not right. But the hard sad fact is that yes it's true. I can't tell you how many conversations I have had with teenage girls who say their mom has never told them about their body, and this is within the church. Let's think about all the kids who don't go to church and who don't have Christian parents who uphold the moral value of saving sex for marriage. It's going to happen. We can't expect everyone to abstain from sex. Especially when they have no moral issue with it. And some kids it's all they see or hear about and so it leads them to curiosity.

So I would much rather someone tell these precious babies how to be safe and protect themselves and maybe even give them a good reason to not have sex before marriage. I hope and pray that as they put more of these programs in the school they wont' forget about abstinence. Even if we don't all agree with it I feel like it should be taught. We don't all agree about the correct type of protection and other assorted things when it comes to the issue.

Abstinence is a choice just as everything else it.

I pray my children choose to save themselves for that special someone.

The getaway pt.1

2011-08-09T09:01:00.002-05:00

Eli and I were able to escape for our 10th anniversary. We took the train from Chicago to San Francisco, what an amazing ride. Seeing the country like that was amazing! My first view of the snow capped Rockies was simply breathtaking. As we were climbing up into the Rockies to look back and see Denver as this little tiny spot with skyscrapers was neat. We went through 50 some tunnels. It was really cool waking up and thinking we were traveling through fields of snow. Ended up it was the salt flats in Utah. What a site seeing the sunrise over those, simply beautiful. I am really glad we did this and my only complaint for the whole train trip was my sleeping arrangements. I was scared to death I was going to fall and didn't sleep much, I got the top bunk.

When arriving in San Francisco 5 hours late we had a bit of an issue with the rental car but ended up arriving at our amazing hotel in Healdsburg around 1AM. This place was great.

The next morning we drove over to St. Helena to meet our friends Rob and Lilly Lewin. We had such a good day with them, one that I will never forget. Lesson learned for the day The Journey is Everything! It was good to be with friends. It was neat hearing Rob tell us about the different regions in the Napa Valley. We drove with them down to Napa. It was a neat little town. We had some amazing food and went into Tyler Florence's shop, his restaurant was closed. Several wine tastings happened that day. I found my favorite Winery of all the ones we went to. A case just arrived at our house, lol. We went back to the Lewin home for dinner made by Rob, the salad he made for us was so yummy! Then due to Rental Car issues we ended up in a 4 hour car ride with them. It was great just to talk.

The next day we discovered Healdsburg a bit and then headed back to St. Helena. We did some poking around and went to several other wine tastings. We had a good day.

The napa Valley was so amazing. Everyone was so nice and talkative. Everyone wanted to know where you were from and why you came to Napa. I love it there.

And then we traveled to San Fran. Not quite like Napa. More on that later.

Looking in her eyes.

2011-08-05T10:35:00.002-05:00

When we first arrived in the city it was 10PM and I must say I was leery. I am not sure I had seen so many homeless people on the streets. They were digging through trash cans and fighting over their street corner. I was overwhelmed. Then morning came and things were different. Yes there were still homeless people out and about but not to the magnitude of the night before. They weren't the only ones on the street this morning. I was more compassionate and less scared and leery.

So we went about our day and then the woman stopped me in my tracks. Standing in line for the cable car she came up to us and ask for a dollar. I honestly didn't have a dollar on me. I looked her in the eyes and said sorry. As I looked in her eyes she was desperate. And yes 10 minutes after she ask me for a dollar she ask someone for a cigarette. So she probably wanted to buy a pack. The thing that makes me remember this woman was that she had an infection in her eye. I am guessing she could hardly see out of it. It was swollen and green puss was coming out of it. Yeah it was gross but she probably doesn't have a family doctor that she can go to and make it all better, like I do.

People who live on the street I am sure get sick all the time and get infections and such. They have probably built up an immunity to somethings but when it comes down to it there is something that will probably get the best of them and there will be no recovery. There will be no doctor to go to or family to fight for them.

She's 7!

2011-07-19T18:32:00.010-05:00

Birth

one

two

three

four

five

six

seven

She's so cute! I love her so much! It has been fun so far. I can't wait to see what's in store but not too quickly.

??????

2011-07-05T14:35:00.003-05:00

So I didn't follow the Casey Anthony trial. I don't know all the details and could honestly not tell you for sure that she did or did not do it. I did however hear enough that I have my suspicions that she and her parents had a lot to do with it.
I am not a juror in the case and am not the judge or God. I cannot judge her it's not right.
All the facebook comments about the verdict are crazy. But the ones that get me the most are the people who are saying things like "I hope they get her and use duct tape".
WHAT??
I think there was probably a time in my life when I would have wished harm upon her. But I have changed so much and I cannot find anything in me that says I hope someone gets her and uses duct tape.
I dunno that's just me.

National Barefoot Sunday-Join Us!

2011-06-02T10:18:00.002-05:00

This Sunday is National Go Barefoot Sunday.

This is an event that Soles 4 Souls puts on. Here is information from their website about the event.

What is Barefoot Sunday?
As a part of Barefoot Week, Barefoot Sunday is design to encourage religious organizations to get involved by leaving their shoes at the alter inconjunction with a church wide shoe collection. Barefoot Sunday helps encourage churches around the country to take off their shoes and go barefoot to raise awareness for the more than 1.5 billion people worldwide who do not own a single pair of shoes. This Spring, more than 150,000 churches will be asked to join in and get involved by taking off their shoes for one Sunday. As part of this powerful movement, congregants can bring their new or gently worn shoes to church or donate funds to Soles4Souls to help put shoes on the feet on the 300 million children around the world who are barefoot.

For every $1 you donate today to Soles4Souls, we can provide one additional pair of shoes to someone in need. $20 provides 20 pairs of shoes. $500 will change the lives of 500 people - maybe an entire community! Thank you for your support!

So the Ruggles Family will be going Barefoot this Sunday. WE also be sending in a donation to Soles 4 Souls.

Anyone want to join us??

My heart doesn't understand.

2011-05-02T18:36:00.005-05:00

My heart doesn't understand what's going on lately.

But today kind of iced the cake.

I have been so confused by people's reactions to Bin Laden's death.

I guess maybe I should back up. Last night when I watched as the President spoke the crowd in front of the White House grew rapidly. People were chanting "USA, USA..." I can't say that last night I wasn't slightly relieved that this man has been taken out of power and that innocent people would not die because of him. I can't say that I don't think he should have paid the time for orchestrating the whole 9/11 events. This man caused a lot of pain!

But

Today I find myself absolutly in shock that people are saying things like "now he can burn in hell with his other buddies." I can't believe that people are celebrating his death. But then I didn't loose anyone on that day so I can't even begin to understand what kind of closure this may bring to those that did.

But for people to be almost giddy in their commenting about him burning in hell makes my stomach turn.

I just don't think Jesus' Facebook status would be

"Oh happy Day!!!! Bin Laden is dead!!!!"

I know that not everyone saying these things maybe Christians but there are some that are saying these things that profess to be. How can someone say in one breath God is Love, in the next vengeance is mine says the Lord and then in the next say something like "I wonder what the expression was on his face when he took his last breath and looked on the face of Jesus to realize he will spend eternity of fire..."

i dunno just trying to figure it all out.

Here is a great blog.
And yet another great blog.

New Format for Monday's

2011-04-04T14:27:00.003-05:00

I saw this on a blog and really liked the format so I thought I would try it out.

Outside my window…it's cloudy and the wind is blowing. A storm is rolling in.

I am thinking…This prayer has flooded my thoughts today.
"Dear God,
I am so afraid to open my clenched fists!
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to?
Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands?
Please help me to gradually open my hands
and to discover that I am not what I own,
but what you want to give me.
And what you want to give me is love,
unconditional, everlasting love.
Amen."
— Henri J.M. Nouwen

My heart is…tired.

I am thankful for… my new bed, I can't wait till we can get the rest of the furniture to match it.

From the kitchen… Eli has been making Sushi. I found some recipes I would like to try. I think this week I will start with the Pizza Bread.

I am creating… this week a friend and I are going to work on making Dinosaur tales.

I am going… I am making a trip to Hobby Lobby and then the rest of the week is full of meetings. But I have no plans this weekend.

I am reading…Purpose Driven Youth Ministry, Growing Souls, Bittersweet, and The Message Solo

I am hoping… a long Spring. I am not ready for 85-90 degrees and higher.

I am hearing… Word Girl and the chomping of after school snacks.

Around the house… Is getting better. When my home becomes cluttered and messy my mind becomes the same way. I can't function properly when things are out of place.

One of my favorite things… Cinnamon

A few plans for the rest of the week… make dinosaur tales and get some things to the shed and the next size clothing out for Lilly.

Unknown Facts about me-10, 11, 12

2011-04-04T11:57:00.002-05:00

So I guess in my business I didn't give you unknown facts about me so here we go 3 in one post.

1. Showers in the morning are a necessity. I am 100% more motivate and feel better about myself when I get a shower in the morning.

2. I hate to wear shorts. Which leads to hating summer time.

3. But I love to swim! I just wish I didn't care what others thought. Then maybe I wouldn't stress about wearing a bathing suit.

Where Have I Been?

2011-04-04T11:56:00.002-05:00

Man I feel like a slacker but in all actuality I have been crazy busy. So Forgive me maybe I will get around to posting more soon.

Unknown Facts about me-9

2011-03-14T09:35:00.003-05:00

Okay so Friday came and went but in my defense it was a busy day and a much busier weekend. So on to the unknown fact,

I am striving to no longer be passive aggressive. I have yet to figure out how to tell others how I feel or what I think but being Passive aggressive gets me no where. I am so good at it though but it really does get me no where.

Live

2011-03-14T09:28:00.002-05:00

My friend Nicki Carleton posted this on her facebook page this morning. I had to share it, it was what I needed to hear at just the right moment.

We need to be held, God, we need your close embrace: a safe place where
we are not afraid. Often, we choose to stand alone rather than ask for
you to hold us. But you do not leave us alone! Repeatedly you come with
love and the gift of a new day, and whisper into our ears, "Live!" Amen.

As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you. Isaiah 66:13
I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you...Because I live, you also will live. John 14:18-19

She got this from the Moravian Text of the day.

Bittersweet quote 1

2011-03-11T11:25:00.002-05:00

'If you dig in and fight the changes, they will smash you to bits. They'll hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you. But if you can find it within yourself, in the wildest of seasons, just for a moment, to trust in the goodness of God, who made it all and holds it all together, you'll find yourself drawn along to a whole new place, and there's truly nothing sweeter. unclench your fists, unlock your knees and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath and begin to swim. Begin to let the waves do their work in you."
Shauna Niequist

transformation of the soul

2011-03-09T08:07:00.003-05:00

I read the following on a blog and just wanted to share it. I really like the the meaning of the hebrew word for repent," to draw a deep breath."

"When we are marked with ash on our foreheads we hear the invitation to “repent and believe the good news.” One of the Hebrew words for repent is nacham. The root of this word means “to draw a deep breath” as well as to be deeply moved to a feeling of sorrow. The Greek word for repent is metanoia, which means “to reconsider.” But it is also a compound word made up of the words, “meta” and “nous.” “Meta” means “transformation”and “nous” means “soul.” So, as we begin this journey we are invited to nothing less than a “transformation of the soul.'"

Lent- to add or subtract??

2011-03-07T22:53:00.006-05:00

In the past it seems that you sit and struggle with what do I want to live without for 40 days. It's never been like a real sacrifice, like I was doing it because I needed to rid something from my life to see more of Jesus. In the past I have given up things like chocolate, soda, TV, TV between the hours of noon and 4, candy, ect... But did any of these things really make me see Jesus in a different way, spend more time with Him, or become more like Jesus? No not really. Ridding my life of those things really didn't make a difference in my walk with Jesus. As Easter came I found myself along with all of those around me indulging in the very things we had given up.

A couple of years ago Eli and I felt called to take the time of Lent and begin to recycle. We felt that God was calling us to become good stewards of the earth. To this day we still recycle. Did this make me walk any closer with Christ? No well, maybe a tad I did listen to the call to begin to take care of my little part of the Earth that God has given us.

This year I have really been thinking about what to do. I feel like this is my time to step back and fall more in love with Jesus. I have gone through a hard season in the past couple years. I have felt broken, hurt, lonely, betrayed, and empty for a while.
I think that through it all I have made myself numb trying to deal with things. For a while this song really expressed how I felt:

"Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

And this is all that I can say right now
I know it's not much
And this is all that I can give
yeah that's my everything"

I love Jesus. I know what he has done for me and I am thankful for that. The rest of the words of that song ring so true.

"I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet"

Through it all he was there and I know that but sometime we need to hear that. The words to this song just put a picture to the knowledge that He is there with us. It's hard because even though He was there I didn't feel it. I tried to guard myself so much that I think I guarded my self from feeling Christ's presence. But to think that he was and is holding me! I know that following Jesus is just a feeling. But this is the way I can describe me right now.

This gets me to the here and now. I want to feel like the words in this song:
"My God is not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion"

Wow to feel Christ so boldly.

My prayer for Lent is this
I pray that I will be faithful to spend time with Jesus.
To speak with him constantly.
To seek refuge in Him
To take it all to Him
To rely on Him.
I pray that I will begin to feel Christ Roaring like a Lion.

I need to spend more time on me, on my spiritual health right now.
I want to fall more in love with Jesus.
I want to stop worrying about what others think and just be in awe of Him.

My friend Lilly wrote this in a blog post and it really resonated with me.

"too often i don't take the time to be awestruck by Jesus...i don't focus enough on His glory and His position as King...
so this lent (starting next wednesday btw) i am reflecting on how i might engage the wonder and awe of Jesus in tangible ways."

There is a Starfield song that I hear at youth workers that just really spoke to where I want to be.
"Lover of my soul
I want to tell you
Only you have all of me
I cannot contain my adoration
I'm in love so desperately

No one is as lovely as you are
There is no one else who has my heart

Jesus you have me completely
Every breath I breathe
I am absolutely in love
Jesus I am yours forever
All of me surrenders
I am absolutely in love with you

Down upon my knees
I'm lost in worship
Humbled by your majesty
What is there to say
But how I love you
Thank you for forgiving me

No one is as lovely as you are
There is no one else who has my heart

Jesus you have me completely
Every breath that I breathe
I am absolutely in love
Jesus I am yours forever
All of me surrenders
I am absolutely in love with you

All I am is yours (all I am is yours)
Only yours

Jesus you have me completely
Every breath that I breathe
I am absolutely in love
Jesus I am yours forever
All of me surrenders
I am absolutely in love
Jesus you have me completely
Every breath that I breathe
I am absolutely in love with you
In love with you"

So how do I go about doing this??

HMMM, good question.
1. Spend time in the word.
2. Pray in many ways.
3. Worship through music (songs really speak to me, I love to sing to Jesus)
4. Have someone that I can trust that will help me.
5. Groups, study, and fellowship
6. Focus on me and Jesus and try not to worry about how others view me. (stop trying to be a pleaser)

"i am reflecting on how i might engage the wonder and awe of Jesus in tangible ways"- I am hoping my friend Lilly will continue to blog about this statement. And maybe share some of the ways that she engages the wonder and awe of Jesus in tangible ways.

So i dunno maybe this doesn't make a bit of sense to anyone but it does to me. So instead of giving up something during this season of Lent I am going to focus on my relationship with Christ. My friend Lilly has really impacted my life. She wrote an article about Shrove Tuesday and Lent and it really spoke to me.

It's amazing the gifts that God gives us to get us to points like this. I am so thankful for the talk in the bathroom and the hug. The genuine I care about you hug that I hadn't received in so long. The hug said more than words ever could. Thanks!

And to my gift with the purple bow, I couldn't be where I am without you! I am so glad that in the midst of the whirlwind that God sent me you. I am sorry I didn't realize the gift I had in you before Nashville.

I am no where near wholeness but I am on the road to healing and restoration. So here we go... I am going to enjoy my pancakes tomorrow and continue on my path to falling more in love with Jesus.

Changing things up a bit.

2011-03-03T09:33:00.002-05:00

So I am changing things up here a bit.
I changed the names of my blogs that are listed above. Please add each of them to your RSS reader so you don't miss a thing. I lead such an exciting life and am such a wealth of information I would hate for you to miss any of it. LOL. Actually I just blog about the amazing food I find on other blogs, my loves in life and my exciting moments which are few and far between.

Unknown Facts about me-8

2011-03-03T08:19:00.002-05:00

I love to bake! I love to bake for others. Baking for others isn't all, I love to do things for other people. I love to help people when and where I can. If I offer to help, let me! It does my heart good.

The day I met Ree.

2011-02-19T20:05:00.011-05:00

Today was packed with firsts for me. Juli and I started our adventure to meet The Pioneer Woman at 7:30 AM. On my wait to meet Juli I experienced seeing the huge, beautiful, bright moon on one horizon and the sun bursting up above the other horizon, It was beautiful!

We drove to Columbus and headed straight to the Barnes and Noble to get our tickets. After we had tickets in hand we had time to kill. The Pioneer Woman wasn't scheduled to be there until 2 PM. So Juli and I headed out to make some essential Columbus stops.

Once our stops were made we headed to The North Market. I had never been there. WOW, what an experience. The market was very busy today. It was very hard to move around and see all that the vendors had to offer. While we were there we had some lunch. I had never had Sushi or Indian food so Juli talked me into trying it. I don't try a lot of new things so this really was a big deal. She ordered a California Roll which consists of crab, avocado, cucumber, rice, and nori. Juli also ordered a Dragon Roll. I am not sure what all is in it but I do know it has fresh water Eel in it.

The Sushi wasn't bad. I thought that it would be horrible and that I would hate it but I didn't.
We also got some Indian food but I cannot even begin to tell you what I got to eat. Here's a pic:

It wasn't bad but not my favorite.

While at The North Market we had to partake in dessert. I've never had Jeni's Ice Cream so it was a must. I tried several different kinds but settled on the Poached Pear Riesling. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! That is the best sorbet I have ever had. Juli said my face was priceless when I tried it. It was simply amazing. I often watch the show "Best Thing I Ever Ate" on Food Network. As I watch I often think there is nothing that I would be bragging about on this show. Well that changed today! I cannot describe to you how simply amazing this sorbet was. I can't stop thinking about it. It was soooooo AMAZING!

So while eating the amazing sorbet we headed back to the Barnes and Noble to meet The Pioneer Woman. When we go there it was so crazy. There were like 500-600 people in the store. When she walked it it was just an awesome moment. She is so beautiful! Her smile just glimmers. Luckily Juli and I had gotten there early to get a ticket. We only had to wait an hour in line. We were able to talk with her for a moment while she was signing our books. It was a precious moment. Here are some pics from Barnes and Noble:

What a splendid day it was.

Why do I work with Youth?

2011-02-18T12:44:00.002-05:00

This question has be in the back of my head for a while. I think that I have come up with an answer.

I work with youth because I love teenagers. They are amazing individuals and they have so much to offer.

I want to encourage them.
I want to praise them.
I want to cheer them on.
I want to help to open their eyes and their hearts.
I want to listen when they need to talk.
I want to hug them.
I want to give them a shoulder to cry on.
I want to show them Christ.
I want to help them to discover their passions.

More than anything though,
I want to help them grow closer to Jesus.
I want to help them see and experience,
His Love
His Forgiveness
His Mercy
His Peace
His Grace
His Power

I want to introduce them to things that I was never introduced to when I was a teenager.
Prayer Paths
Imaginative Prayer
Community
and other things.

I want to be able to love them like Jesus does. I want the girls to realize they are beautiful. I hope that through my interactions with them I can help them to see how important they are. I love "my kids"!

I know that the other night when I was speaking all this in the car on my way home it didn't come out the same as it did now. I am sure as I grow and change and as they grow and change this may change a bit and that's ok.

Unknown Facts about me-6&7

2011-02-18T08:12:00.002-05:00

WOW, It's Friday! I guess that means I have two unknown facts about me to reveal. I think I will go for a fun fact and a serious fact. So here we go!

When I was in college I worked at Cedar Point. I was the person that took your picture when you walked in the gate. It was a lot of fun. It was fun to meet the people as they were coming to the park for the day. I won many awards during that summer for things like most rolls of film taken and most purchase of pics you took.

so more serious, maybe not so much but related to the first.

Years later Eli and I were going through things and found some of the view finders that I had kept. If we had some funny pics we were allowed to keep them if they didn't get bought that day. So we were looking at them and Eli was in one of the view finders. No, I didn't know him when I worked there. He was still in High school. It was a funny discovery that I had taken his picture and kept it and then years later we were married.

MMMM, COOKIES!

2011-02-10T08:17:00.001-05:00

Double White Chocolate and Pretzel Peanut Butter Cookies…with Sea Salt
1 stick softened butter, 8 tablespoons
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup white chocolate chips, to melt
1 1/4 cups creamy peanut butter (reserve 2 tablespoons to add to melting white chips)
1 large egg
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup broken pretzel pieces
1 Cup additional white chocolate chips
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Melt white chocolate chips and 2 Tablespoons peanut butter over a double boiler until melted. Add melted chocolate chips and remaining peanut butter to beaten butter and sugars. Beat in egg and vanilla.
2. Place flour, baking soda and salt in bowl; mix to combine. Add to wet ingredients until just combined then pour in pretzels and additional white chocolate chips. With a cookie scoop, scoop dough onto a silpat or parchment lined baking sheet. With the palms of your hand, gently press down each cookie to about 1/2 inch in thickness. Sprinkle each cookie with a touch of sea salt. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until edges become golden and slightly crisp. Let cool for 10 minutes on baking sheet before removing.

Unknown Facts about me-5

2011-02-04T10:58:00.002-05:00

The song Cirlce by Edie Berkel plays in my head at least once a week.

"I quit, I give up, nothing's good enough for anybody else,
It seems
And being alone is the best way to be
When I'm by myself it's the best way to be
When I'm all alone it's the best way to be
When I'm by myself, nobody else can say goodbye
Everything is temporary anyway"

Unknown Facts about me-4

2011-02-01T22:14:00.002-05:00

Wow, I've gotten to Tuesday before posting this.

So here is a good one.

I am really good at hiding.

This is something that I learned very recently. I really didn't see it when someone pointed it out and I was kind of offended when they did. But then I stepped back and thought about it. It's true. Sometimes hiding isn't a bad thing. I like to hid sometimes. I like to sit back and watch and listen.

Unknown Facts about me-3

2011-01-22T13:19:00.002-05:00

I guess I am better at doing this on Saturday's instead of Friday's. Yesterday's snow day and unexpected trip to the doctor threw me off. So here we go:

I hate my hair dryer. I know it's just a hair dryer but I don't like it. I loved my last hair dyer but when it died I was too cheap to buy an identical one. The last one I found on clearance but they aren't anymore. So I will have to be content with my cheap hair dryer until it dies.

Okay so on a more serious note. I try really hard not to be materialistic. Some days it doesn't work out so well. I think I am doing better but some times I just really want something that I don't need. Like right now I really want pasta rollers and cutters for my Kitchen Aid Mixer. I could roll the dough out myself and cut it but it would just be so much easier to have those.

Eager

2011-01-19T08:56:00.002-05:00

Someone had this verse in their facebook status so I looked it up. Gal. 2:9-10.

Galatians 2:9-10 (The Message)

6-10As for those who were considered important in the church, their reputation doesn't concern me. God isn't impressed with mere appearances, and neither am I. And of course these leaders were able to add nothing to the message I had been preaching. It was soon evident that God had entrusted me with the same message to the non-Jews as Peter had been preaching to the Jews. Recognizing that my calling had been given by God, James, Peter, and John—the pillars of the church—shook hands with me and Barnabas, assigning us to a ministry to the non-Jews, while they continued to be responsible for reaching out to the Jews. The only additional thing they asked was that we remember the poor, and I was already eager to do that.

What got me about this passage was the last sentence.

"The only additional thing they asked was that we remember the poor, and I was already eager to do that."

Unknown Facts about me-2

2011-01-14T16:57:00.000-05:00

I have anxiety walking into a room late. I would rather be the first person there.

I love Parenthood!

2011-01-12T10:22:00.003-05:00

Last night on Parenthood Sarah is fumbling with how to support her daughter Amber who is a Senior in High School and really trying to find her own way. Sarah sits down with Amber and says:

“When you have kids, if you have kids, there’s something you should know. A very confusing thing they don’t tell you. You see so much of yourself in them. You see your ironic take on the world. You see your smile, your laugh, and your sense of humor, whatever. And you think they’re you. But they’re not you. And they shouldn’t have all of your baggage, your fear, your insecurity, and your life experience because that’s not fair. They have their own.”

Then she tries to help her daughter spread her wings and do her thing.
I cried because it is so true.

What a beautiful moment.

Where is the love of Christ??

2011-01-11T08:38:00.003-05:00

It makes me angry that a church would picket at the funeral of a 9 year old girl. She was so innocent. Where is the love of Christ? The news article I read stated this:

Westboro Baptist Church, founded by its spiritual leader, Fred Phelps, and run mostly by family members, did not respond to a request for an interview in time for this article. But a flier released by the church about the picket targets the Roman Catholic Church because Christina and her family were members.
"God hates Catholics!" the flier, posted on the church's "God Hates Fags" website, says. "God calls your religion 'vain,' as it's empty of His truth; you worship idols!"

This just hurts my heart. Who cares if they are Catholic or not. They lost their little girl in a horrible act. I pray that Jesus wraps his arms around them and comforts them as they go through this horribly tragic time in their life.

No wonder so many people hate Christians, I would too.

Don't know me? This is a good place to start.

2011-01-10T07:40:00.003-05:00

Portrait of an ISFJ - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
(Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Feeling)

The Nurturer

"As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.

ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings."

"ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ."

"ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method."

"The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient."

"More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside."

"The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted."

"ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right"."

I think this last paragraph really helps me realize why I feel the way I feel today.

"The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly."

"ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life."
- ISFJ Profile (TypeLogic

"modest, not confrontational, easily hurt, observer, prone to crying, not spontaneous"
- Jung Type Descriptions (ISFJ) (similarminds.com)

"At work, ISFJs contribute loyal, sympathetic, consistent, and considerate service to others. They are know for their kindness and for their willingness to go to any length to help those in need. They take the practical needs of people into account when they do their work, and their strong follow-through skills allow them to carry out organizational goals. They do at least what is expected to them and oftentimes more, without attracting attention to themselves. They are painstaking and responsible with detail and routine, and feel it is important to have the right things in the right places at the right times."
- ISFJ - The Nurturer (Lifexplore)

ISFJ Strengths

Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
Service-oriented, wanting to please others
Good listeners
Will put forth lots of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations
Excellent organizational capabilities
Good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs
Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money
Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships

ISFJ Weaknesses

Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
May have difficulty branching out into new territory
Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
Unlikely to express their needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside
Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
Have difficulty moving on after the end of a relationship

Unknown facts about me-1

2011-01-07T15:46:00.001-05:00

I once had a poem published.

52 things you didn't know about me.

2011-01-07T15:43:00.002-05:00

I am going to blog one thing about myself every Friday that I assume most people do not know. I am guessing that Eli will know most of them but he'll just have to bear with me. Maybe I can think of something that will take him by surprise, I may have to dig deep. But we will see.

Anyone out there??

2011-01-07T15:40:00.003-05:00

Somedays I wonder if anyone reads this at all. Probably only Eli to make sure I am not passive aggressive, lol. I was trying to think of something unique that I could do in 2011 with my blog.
I have tried to blog pics, do quizes, and other assorted things but it seems like life just always takes me away from that. Then I get behind and I try to catch up but it just doesn't happen. So I think I have an idea...

If I were to put together a few of my favorite artists and speakers for a weekend.

2011-01-06T08:40:00.021-05:00

So this is who I would choose:
David Crowder Band

Shane and Shane

Kendall Payne

Starfield

Scott Erickson

Alathea

Francis Chan

Harvey Carey

Mike Pilavochi

Virginia Ward

Jeannie Stevens

Shane Claiborne

Marko

The Skit Guys

Lost and Found

Robbie Seay Band

Shauna Niequist

okay so maybe it would be like my own little Youth Workers Convention. But man it would be a wonderful weekend.

NYWC

2010-11-24T11:09:00.000-05:00

So I guess maybe it's time to reflect a little over the National Youth Workers Convention.
We drove Wednesday evening to get there. Eli and I had to be at the convention center bright and early on Thursday. We had a fun trip down and the Soda was secured.

Thursday started with breakfast at the hotel and appreciate the beauty that God has created. Eli didn't really appreciate God's creation but Sarah and I did, LOL. After Breakfast we headed over to the convention center. Eli and I were working registration for the convention. We had some set up to do before registration opened up. During registration our friend Lilly walked by to set up the Sanctuary. It was so good to see her. It was a lot of fun to meet new people and to interact with the people who came into get their passes. When registration was over we meet up with Sarah and headed to dinner. Bailey's Pub was a must, their pizza and soft pretzels are the best. After dinner we headed to the hotel and made our was quickly to the hot tub before it closed, we had 20 minutes. We all relaxed and settled in for what ended up to be the worst night of sleep for all of us.

Friday was here and we had quite the day ahead of us. We had to be at the convention center even earlier. Registration today was so much fun. It was fun meeting all the people that were coming to the convention. During the first Big Room we had the chance to go over and see some of it. I was able to see Carlos Whittaker preform. I had never heard him sing so it was nice to be able to do that. After the Big Room we were able to meet with Carlos. I meet him before Eli did and that was cool but then when I went up with Eli he said "oh your Roogles" and then he looked at me and said "oh and your JennRoogles." Funny! He said "it's so hard when you follow people and you only get to see this little tiny twitter profile picture." It was cool to meet him. We continued on with registration until 4:30. Because we didn't get off till 4:30 there were some seminars I missed that I would have like to have heard but I can get those on audio later. Sarah was in a seminar so we waited for her to get out and then we headed to Rippy's for dinner. It was okay and it was better than paying the convention center food prices. Okay maybe it was "Sho good", lol. We got back in time to make use of our All Access pass. We went in and got some great seats for the evening Big Room. Crowder lead worship at the end and they were amazing as usual. I am glad I am so into taking pics because it helped me to not become a puddle on the floor after hearing Harvey Carey speak. The message he brought was life changing in so many ways. Maybe some day I will let myself sit down and and relive that message. Oh, The Museum also played and they were good. We had the opportunity to meet them afterwards and they were nice but their manager, wow is all I can say. After the late nights we were invited to Adam McLane's suite to discuss Haiti. There were about a dozen people there some of which have been to Haiti since the earthquake. And some have even met Wilnord, the pastor of the church that RVCC adopted. We ended up having a great discussion with a guy named Joel. We left and headed back to our hotel. We were soooooo tired.

Saturday was here, really already! We had to be at the convention at 8AM for the first round of seminars. We all headed our own way and didn't meet up until later for lunch. We walked to the Art museum and had lunch there and then walked back to the convention center. It was a full day of running here and there. After my seminar I headed to the Sanctuary and took part in the Imaginative Prayer. Then I headed over to the exhibit hall to make a round. I made it two rows and then we headed out to fins some dinner. We headed to the Hard Rock and had dinner, it was sooo yummy! Back up Broadway we headed for the evening Big Room. Again using the All Access passes we got amazing seats. NEWWORLDSON was pretty good. Jeremy Camp was pretty good. I thought last night's message was life changing, HA! This one pin pointed me. Can't even go there now! After the big room it was time for some laughter so we headed to Karaoke with Scott the Painter. We had some good laughs with some good tunes! Off to bed, after some sleeping drugs for all, LOL.

Sunday had come too soon for me. We didn't have to be at the convention center until 10 this morning! Ah a tad more sleep. It was the Big Room with Ted and Gayle Haggard. The Skit Guys were here this morning. I just love them, no really I do. They have a special place in my heart. This morning they did the skit, God's Masterpiece. It was very moving. Then Alathea played, they are soo good. I was introduced to them a few years ago via Marko's blog. He had blogged about their Christmas album. I went to trusty ol' iTunes and bought it. I was excited to finally be able to see them preform. So then it was time for The Haggard's. I really had no desire to sit and listen to him. Mainly because of some of the crap I was dealing with but I did hear some of it. To hear Gayle speak of her husband and the situation with such Grace, forgiveness and Peace was amazing. I told Eli I am not sure I would be as full of Grace as she was or is. I really don't want to insert my personal opinion here but I will say he really chose poorly when it came to some of the things he said. I didn't hear them for myself I just heard of them. I still do not have an issue with not sitting to listen to him speak. We grabbed some lunch, I think. Then I headed to the Sanctuary for Prayers-for-a-Hurting-World Mural. It wasn't what I expected but it was good. Then at 4 I stuck around and did Imaginative Prayer again and it really good for me. I just wish I wouldn't try to internalize everything. We went to dinner and then again using the all access made our way to some great seats. Tonight at the Big Room Tic apologized for the morning's Big Room and how it was handled. The Skit Guys did the True Love Waits skit and let me just say they were funny stuff with the snuggies! Brandon Heath was there, I had never seen him preform either. I don't really care for Jars of Clay but I stayed. But after I saw the skit guys and Brandon Heath I headed over to the Grand Ballroom to get 2nd row seats for the Skit Guys. The Late Night was Lost and Found and The Skit Guys and it was worth the wait. I really like Lost and Found and they were really funny. But The Skit Guys were spot on! They were so funny and it was so nice after along draining weekend. We got to speak with them afterwards. It's so nice that they remember you and your story. They are such great guys! At about 1AM we headed back to the hotel.

Monday was here and I wasn't ready for it all to be over. I wasn't ready to come back. We packed up and headed over to the convention center for the last Big Room. The Skit Guys did another skit, Tic Long gave the talk and Starfield ended it in worship. They were amazing. After the Big Room we had to help tear down the YS store. In the midst of packing up Tim Nuefield came over and needed a couple volunteers to help him get something to the loading dock. No one said anything so Sarah and I raised our hands. It was a long walk tugging along the t-shirts but it was fun! We chit chatted about our families and what we do. He was so super nice. It was fun to be able to help him out and get to chat with him for a bit. When we got back it was decided that we would start our 7 hr. journey home. It was hard to leave some good friends that we only get to see once a year. Sarah and I fell asleep while Eli chatted on the phone. Once we got to Cincy we stopped for a 3-way and then finished our trip home. It was a good weekend. There are a lot of seminars I need to get on audio because I know I need to hear them but we just couldn't fit everything in. And now I am back to life in fast forward and all is somewhat pushed back down inside.

Thankful Challenge

2010-11-10T20:49:00.002-05:00

So everyone on facebook is doing this thankful challenge leading up to Thanksgiving. I have considered doing it but now it's 10 days into it and I haven't started it. So I think I am going to start and finish it all here in one blog post. I also think that I am going to try to think outside of the traditional I am thankful for. Yes, I am thankful for Jesus and God and the change that has taken place in my life because of them and what they have done. Yes, I am thankful for my family. But those I feel are givens so I am going to think of those things that aren't the ones I would immediately rattle off if ask in the middle of Walmart.
These are in no certain order!

1. I am thankful for a warm place to sleep with a roof over my head.
2. I am thankful that I know where my next meal is coming from and that I can supply my child's next meal.
3. I am thankful that I have the appropriate shoes to wear for the season.
4. I am thankful I have a church that I can call home.
5. I am thankful for the teenagers in my life. They teach me something new everyday and I love them.
6. I am thankful that I have a car that can get me from point a to point b.
7. I am thankful for my friends. I am trying to trust them more everyday so...
8. I am thankful they are patient with me and my trust issues.
9. I am thankful for Canon in D, not matter how over played it is. It takes me to a calm and relaxing place full of dreams.
10. I am thankful for music.
11. I am thankful that I can read and write.
12. I am thankful that God made me compassionate and gave me that want to help others.
13. I am thankful to be free.
14. I am thankful for those who have fought and continue to fight for my freedom.
15. I am thankful for snow and how it reminds me of what Christ has done for us.
16. I am thankful for gloomy days and it's okay when it rains.
17. I am thankful for a dishwasher.
18. I am thankful for clean water to drink and bath in.
19. I am thankful for the love of taking pictures.
20. I am thankful my kids have no food allergies.
21. I am thankful that our church has been able to partner with a church in Haiti
22. I am thankful for the reconnect I have made with a friends from high school and college through facebook.
23. I am thankful for a hubby who loves to cook.
24. I am thankful for justice and the want to correct injustices.
25. I am thankful that the Pilgrims fled England in search of a place to be free.

okay so that's 25, one for everyday from Nov.1 st to Nov. 25th.
Enjoy!

"I play at the edges of knowing"

2010-11-06T05:21:00.000-05:00

I read this today and loved it so I had to share it.

Lest we would sift it down
into fractions, and facts
certainties
and what the soul is, also
I believe I will never quite know.
Though I play at the edges of knowing,
truly I know
our part is not knowing,
but looking, and touching, and loving,
which is the way I walked on,
softly,
through the pale-pink morning light.

Mary Oliver, Why I Wake Early (2004)

The Vintage Pearl giveaway

2010-10-22T07:58:00.001-05:00

Check out this great giveaway from The Vintage Pearl. I would love to have a necklace from them.

one confession

2010-10-20T07:44:00.001-05:00

I dislike Sunday mornings for various reasons.

2 smileys that describe your life right now

2010-10-19T08:10:00.000-05:00

1. my kids and hubby

2. the weather

3 turn ons

2010-10-17T08:08:00.000-05:00

1. attention

2. certain smells

3. feeling wanted

4 Turn offs

2010-10-16T08:06:00.001-05:00

1. farting

2. telling me what to do instead of asking nicely

3. wife beaters (both the shirt and the character flaw)

4. chewing tobacco

5 people who mean a lot to me (in no certain order)

2010-10-15T07:56:00.002-05:00

1. Family- If I list them my kids and hubby would take up the list. HA!

2. Sarah

3. Kathy

4. Anne

5. Jesus

6 Things I wish i'd never done

2010-10-14T07:43:00.000-05:00

1. Waited till 22 to get my driver's license

2. Gained weight

3. Not gone into what I really wanted to in college.

4. let others make me feel inferior and care what they think

5. quit playing volleyball

6. trusted to much

7 Things that cross my mind a lot.

2010-10-12T07:19:00.002-05:00

1. My kids and husband

2. My close friends and family

3. My girls and the rest of the youth

4. you and what you did. (all I can say, sorry I know passive aggressive but can't go further)

5. How to give less and yet give more during Christmas- I think we should celebrate birthdays and then spend quality time with family and friends at Christmas and celebrate Jesus' birthday together. Why do we give gifts on someone else's birthday?

6. How to help people

7. Where I want to go from here.

8 Ways to win my heart

2010-10-11T21:03:00.000-05:00

This is a hard one.

1. Be real with me

2. Help me

3. Tell the truth

4. Don't share with others what I share with you.

5. spend time with me

6. care about what I am interested in.

7. love me

8. care for me

9 things in my purse

2010-10-08T08:52:00.001-05:00

1. The book Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist.

2. Sharpie pens- my favs!

3. C.O. Bigelow Cinnamint Menta Lip Shine

4. Orbitz Cinnamon and Wintergreen gum

5. Bible

6. Checkbook

7. Misc. cards-Debit, Insurance, Driver's license, Kroger, CVS, ect...

8. Sunglasses

9. Diaper

10 Things about me

2010-10-07T09:56:00.003-05:00

1. I love C.O. Bigelow Cinnamint Metha Lip Shine!

2. My favorite Season is Fall.

3. I love my evening tv shows. Esp. when the kids re in bed-decompress time!

4. My favorite stores are Target, Ikea, Old Navy, Trader Joe's and The Container Store.

5. My favorite musical artists are Shane & Shane, Jon Foreman, and Kendall Payne.

6. I love almost anything cinnamon flavored.

7. I love a clean and organized house.

8. I love to take pictures.

9. I miss Cranberry Jelly Belly's

10. I love the city, broadway musicals, and people watching.

10 Day Challenge

2010-10-07T09:54:00.001-05:00

I found this on a friend's blog and thought it was neat. So I thought I might try it. I think I will start today!

10 DAY CHALLENGE
Gonna do one starting today!
Day One: Ten things you about yourself.
Day Two: Nine things in your purse.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

Cheerleaders aren't all bad.

2010-10-07T07:33:00.002-05:00

I expect a well rounded individual. Ellie also plays soccer and she wants to play basketball. I wish they had volley ball for little kids. I also wish they had a drama club for little kids. She loves to be in musicals, act and pretend all the time.We also play with cars, wrestle and sword fight. No we don't do bugs with the exception of lightening bugs. And yes that's my fault but oh well so I don't do bugs.

Dance was not her thing, she didn't dance this year. But there isn't a thing wrong with dance. She would probably do it again this year if she could just do ballet. Nothing wrong with working on your balance and posture. She really enjoyed ballet.
Yes she is my little princess and there is nothing wrong with that. It's not like I call her that everyday all day. I am not going to go into my reasoning any more than that.

If she does become a cheerleader I am not going to be upset with her or tell her she can't. And yes ladies there are lots of gals that I know that were or are cheerleaders that are amazing, well rounded, loving, caring, compassionate gals. Gals that I am very proud of. And if Ellie turned out like them I would be extremely thankful.
I probably should start saving now, just in case. I just can't believe how much it costs and I don't agree with the whole fundraising aspect. Let the football players fund raise for their stuff not the cheerleaders.

I guess as long as I strive to raise a well rounded individual who is in touch with reality then I don't have a problem with her being a cheerleader. I have my work cut out for me. I want to raise a child who doesn't think she's all that and a bag of chips just because she's a cheerleader. I want her to have great self confidence. I want her to know she is a princess and she is worth treating that way. I never want to set her to think a guy can walk all over her and treat her like crap. I want her to love all. I want her to be the one who is kind to everyone and she doesn't care who doesn't like her because of it. I want her love love others to spite what they may do. I don't want her to go along with or condone what others may do that's wrong but to love them to spite of their wrong doings. I her to be able to convey to others that they are loved even though they have done wrong or the world doesn't view them as lovable. I want her to walk with her head held high and with purpose. I want her to love Jesus and love people. I want her to love herself. I want her to know she has worth. But I also want her to be humble about it. I want her to enjoy life and if that means being a cheerleader then okay.

Gals I am so sorry I made that comment. You all are right, you all turned out wonderful and weren't the typical cheerleader that I had ingrained in my memory. There were several cheerleaders that I knew growing up that gave it a bad name. And I guess it's the ones who give it a bad name that stick out way more than the nice ones who are truly good people. Thanks for the reminder.

I guess I felt the need to defend myself a bit but it isn't necessary. I am not a bad parent and I think I am doing okay. Eli is doing okay. We are good parents who love our children and strive to create well rounded kids who love Jesus, love people and love themselves with humility.

okay I am stopping now.

interesting, or not so, me

2010-10-04T07:39:00.002-05:00

Cut and paste and bold the things that pertain to you.
My personality:
I’m loud. (sometimes)
I’m obnoxious.
I’m sarcastic.
I’m cocky.
I cry easily.
I have a bad temper.
For the most part i don’t like people.
I’m easy to get along with.
I have more enemies than Friends.
I’ve smoked.
I’ve smoked weed.
I drink coffee.
I clean my room daily.

My appearance:
I wear makeup.
I wear a piece of jewelry at all times.
I wear contacts.
I wear glasses.
I have braces.
I change my hair colour often
I straighten my hair often
I have a piercing
I have small feet

Relationships:
I’m in a relationship now.
I’m single.
I’m crushin’.
I’ve missed an ex before.
I’m always scared of being hurt.
An ex has physically abused me at least once.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve been in love more than two times.
I believe in love at first sight.
I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships:
I have a best friends.
I have at least ten friends.
I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
I’ve beaten up a friend.
I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
I can trust at least five people with my life.

Experiences:
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been on a train.
Someone close to me has died
I’ve taken a taxi.
I’ve taken a city bus.
I’ve taken a school bus.
I’ve gone bungee jumping.
I’ve made a speech.
I’ve been in some sort of club.
I’ve won an award.
I’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.
I’ve been in a physical fight.

Music:
I listen to R&B.
I listen to country.
I listen to pop.
I listen to techno.
I listen to rock.
I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until i hate it.
I hate the radio.
I download music.
I buy CD’s.

Television:
I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
I watch soap operas daily.
I’m in love with Days Of Our Lives.
I’ve seen and liked the O.C.
I’ve seen and liked One Tree Hill.
I’ve seen and like Americas Next Top Model.
I’ve seen and like Popular.
I’ve seen and like 24.
I’ve seen and liked CSI.
I’ve seen and like Everwood.

Family Life:
I get along with both of my parents.
My biological parents are still together.
I have at least one brother.
I have at least one sister.
I have at least one step brother/sister.
I have at least one half brother/sister.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I’ve ran away from my home.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve made my parents cry.
I’ve lied to my parents.
I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.
I’ve lied to my parents so I’d be allowed out.
I’ve walked out when I’ve been grounded.

Hair:
I’ve been brown.
I’ve had streaks.
I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
I’ve been blonde.
I’ve had black.
I’ve been red.
I’ve been light brown.
I’ve been medium brown.
I’ve been blue/green.
I’ve gotten my hair thinned.
I use conditioner.
I’ve used silk therapy.
I’ve used hot oil treatments.
I’ve curled my hair.
I’ve straightened my hair.
I’ve ironed my hair.
I’ve braided my hair.

School:
I’ve yelled at a teacher.
I’ve been suspended.
I’ve had an in-school suspension.
I’ve been sent to the principals office.
I’ve walked out of class.
I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
I’ve failed a test.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
I’ve failed Art.
I’ve failed P.E.
I’ve failed math.
I’ve failed science.
I’ve failed another class.
A teacher has called my parents

Shoo Fly

2010-09-03T06:56:00.002-05:00

Children at a roadside shelter in Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa province, in north-west Pakistan. Officials say 8 million people in the country still need emergency aid
Photographer: Mohammad Sajjad/AP

This make my heart hurt! I wish I could rescue them, take the flies away, give them food, shelter, clean water. I wish I could help in some way.

Back to School time

2010-08-17T09:23:00.002-05:00

Well it's here, Back to school time. It's one of my fave times of the year. There is something about fresh new supplies! It makes me want to buy new pens, paper, clothes and shoes. Being a teacher I love to just walk the back to school aisle and look at all the new products for that year. I found Crayons for .25 a box and other amazing deals so I grabbed them. Then I got her small school supply list and I had already bought everything on it. It was only 5 items so I am sure there will be a bigger list when we got to orientation.

I have gone through all of Ellie's clothes and shoes. There isn't much she needs so I think we are set for now in that area. I would love to take her and buy her a new outfit or two and new pair of shoes but I think we can make due. We are going to use her back pack from last year b/c it's still in really good shape. We do have a new lunch box for the year, her other one that matched her back pack broke mid year last year.

Back to school time also brings back memories of my grandma. She always took us shopping or gave us money to do some back to school shopping. Well okay mom took us whether grandma went or not. Grandma was in a wheelchair and so she had a lot of assistance from my mom. I loved going to the mall with her. She was a lot of fun. It is good memories. I remember the last time she gave me back to school money. We were sitting in the parking lot at her doctor's office.

Looking back I think this is something that I want to do with my grand kids. Take them and buy their backpack, an outfit or two and a pair of shoes. It would be great bonding time just me and them. A great time to create memories.

Lilly is 11 months old

2010-08-08T17:02:00.002-05:00

Fall is coming and I can't wait

2010-08-05T15:38:00.001-05:00

Cooler weather

Pumpkin treats

Football Season

Soups

Bonfires

Apple Cider

Hoodies

These are some of my favorite things...

They only neg. is that it gets dark earlier.

Bucket List

2010-08-04T09:11:00.002-05:00

I have been really thinking about some things I want to do in life.

1. See the Northern Lights

2. An Alaskan Cruise

3. Visit New Zealand

4. Visit Ireland

5. Visit Germany

6. Take my kids to Disney

7. Visit San Francisco

8. Visit Seattle

9. Visit Chicago again

10. Visit New York City

11. Travel through Maine, New Hampshire and Connecticut

12. become a better photographer

13. Get my scrapbooks caught up.

14. loose 70 lbs. and keep it off

15. perfect making my own noodles, pasta, breads, ect...

16. become a better cook

17. overcome my fear of raw meat

18. have a garden, berry patch, and orchard

19. Learn how to can veggies, suaces, and jams

20. Start making my own pizza sauce, salsa, spaghetti sauce, jams, apple sauce, ect...

So that's all I can think of for now. I think it's a pretty good list! We will see what happens.

Happy Anniversary, Eli!

2010-07-28T08:45:00.000-05:00

This was one of our engagement pictures.

Robbie Seay Band @RVCC

2010-06-24T07:53:00.003-05:00

What an awesome night of Worship. The concert last night was so much fun! I am so thankful that we were given the opportunity to host The Robbie Seay Band at our church River Valley Community Church. I am so excited at the prospect of doing this again.

This Frodo, Matthew Kidd, reminded me of our Friend John Hutton. I haven't seen John for almost three years. Seeing someone that looked like him made me really miss him.

So, after sound check something happened and some glass was broken on the stage. I along with several others went and picked up what we could see. I decided I better vacuum just in case. Good thing I did because Robbie came up on stage and took his shoes off. I was a little nervous at first but then after about the 3rd song with no injuries I relaxed.

The Robbie Seay band consists of Robbie Seay, Ryan Owens, Michael Lisenbe, and Matthew Kidd.

The same outfit

2010-06-18T16:00:00.002-05:00

So Ellie was not quite 2 months old and Lilly is 9 months old. The outfit is 0-3 months, yes it's the exact same outfit.

National Doughnut Day

2010-06-04T11:51:00.003-05:00

Happy National Doughnut day everyone!

To celebrate we made doughnuts. They turned out pretty good. I am excited to try some different recipes next time.

Well it's here!

2010-06-04T07:14:00.004-05:00

First Day of School

Last Day of School

It's the last day of school. I am so glad it's here!

Not that I want my little girl to grow up quickly but because it has been a challenging year. I am excited for what next year has in store. If what I hear is correct about a certain teacher I am praying that Ellie gets her. I think they would be the perfect match. But now to enjoy the summer.

We are hoping to get the swing set soon and it would be nice to find a way to be able to cool off during the day!

Happy Last Day of School everyone!

blog???

2010-05-30T21:13:00.002-05:00

I have been thinking about blogging. I have many things I could blog about and many pics to share. I don't know why I haven't or even why I am writing this. I figure no one really reads this anyways. So if I don't blog it's not like someone is going to miss those amazing, exciting, and dull moments of my life.

I am trying to watch what I blog. I have a lot that I could let pour out of my heart but I think I have boarded up the draw bridge.

Anyways so maybe this week I will try to blog a little. I dunno.

TOMS Shoes - A day without shoes

2010-04-08T08:08:00.001-05:00

It’s Hard Without Shoes

Through everyday encounters with domestic poverty, we are reminded to appreciate having food and shelter, but most of us all but forget about our feet. Food, shelter, AND shoes facilitate life’s fundamentals. Imagine a life without shoes; constantly aware of the ground in front of you, suffering regular cuts and scrapes, tending to infection after each walk, and enduring not only terrain, but heat and cold.

The problem is large, but the solution is simple. Wearing shoes and practicing basic hygiene can prevent both infection and disease due to unsafe roads and contaminated soil. By imagining a life barefoot, we can all contribute to the awareness of these conditions. On April 8th, communities, campuses, organizations, and individuals are banding together to walk barefoot for One Day Without Shoes.

Take a walk with us on April 8th, 2010.

Facts:

In some developing nations, children must walk for miles to school, clean water and to seek medical help.

Cuts and sores on feet can lead to serious infection.

Often, children cannot attend school barefoot.

In Ethiopia, approximately one million people are suffering from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring disease caused by walking barefoot in volcanic soil.

Podoconiosis is 100% preventable with basic foot hygiene and wearing shoes.

Learn more about our mission and giving at www.TOMS.com.

I am not wearing shoes today will you join me.

Official Store - TOMS Shoes - A Pair of New Shoes is Given to a Child in Need With Every Pair Purchased - One for One - TOMSshoes.com

It's April

2010-04-05T07:46:00.002-05:00

Okay yeah I know we are five days in but well I just haven't had time!

The month of March was full of projects for Eli and I. We ripped out cabinets and walls. Put together furniture, changed where our pantry is. oh yeah and I have a teething baby.

March was a little blurry. We kept ourselves so busy. I think we are going to take some time to slow down before we head into the next project.

We have had some fun though.

Easter weekend was awesome! We had an amazing turnout at the Easter egg hunt. Church was great and we had a great day with family and friends.

Lilly crawled for the first time on Easter day.

I am hoping to get back into blogging some more since our huge projects are done. So hopefully you will hear more from me soon. But for now I must rescue the screaming teething baby on the floor.

I'm back???

2010-03-24T15:00:00.003-05:00

I know I said I was back but oh my I have been crazy busy. Between taking care of kids, housework and putting together furniture it's been a little crazy.

We took a trip to IKEA and were able to get some things we needed and a few things we didn't "need". We have spent all our spare time putting things together since we got back.

Lilly went for her 6 month well baby check today and all is well. He weighed 13. lbs. Yesterday she started sitting up on her own. She starts on her belly and pushes her self up to a sitting position.
Here's a pic:

You can see her marks from the shots in this pic.

She is also getting up on her hands a knees and rocking back and forth. I bet she is crawling in the next month.

All our furniture from IKEA is put together as of this afternoon. So hopefully some time will free up for me to blog a bit more.

FUNK

2010-03-18T08:09:00.002-05:00

So I have been in a bit of a funk. I have wanted to hide and just be silent for a bit.

It's amazing the power we can allow people to have over us. It's amazing how we can allow the words of an email to affect us so deeply.

I am done though. I am done being affected! I am done letting those have power over me that really could care less about me.

I am moving on now! There will be some that will not be a part of this moving on and that's ok. It's okay if I only let a few in to share with.

That being said I think I'm back. I have missed blogging about all the fun things going on with the Ruggles family. Here are some brief updates.

1. Silas is potty trained. He did it himself.

2. We took out cabinets in the kitchen.

3. We got a new to us kitchen table and sold our old one.

4. We finished adding shelving to the toy room.

5. We rearranged the living room.

6. We rearranged the bedroom in preparation to move the door to the bedroom.

7. We have begun preparation to move where the pantry is.

8. Lilly turned 6 months old.

9. Ellie seems to be doing well in school. She is done with dance when this year is over and she wants to play soccer.

10. I just bought a flash for my camera.

11. Lilly is getting all fours and rocking. Crawling is just around the corner.

Maybe in some future blogs I can go into detail and post pics of the work we have done around the house.

top 5

2010-02-23T09:40:00.002-05:00

Top 5 food staples.

A. if i could ONLY buy five food items and my family had to survive on those 5 alone...
1. eggs
2. peanut butter
3. chicken
4. bread
5. cereal

B. if i was only thinking about the top 5 items that i currently always need to have in the house...
1. peanut butter
2. bread
3. milk
4. turkey pepperoni
5. cheese

C. if i had a top five that were ONLY for ME, but not for survival (see list A.)...
1. cinnamon stick tea bags
2. pepsi
3. Crispix
4. noodles
5. pizza

D. if i only think about what the kids always want in the house...
1. peanut butter
2. milk
3. yogurt
4. crackers
5. chicken nuggets

I read this on another blog and thought it was interesting to think about and then look at after it's answered.

Lent

2010-02-18T13:37:00.002-05:00

So I have been struggling with what to give up for Lent. Last year I gave up frivolous spending and started recycling. We are to this day still recycling.
But I think I have finally decided. I am giving up TV from 11-5 during the week. There is nothing worth watching and the tv it just on for background noise anyways. So I have decided to turn off the tv and instead I will feed everyone lunch, get everyone down for rest time and then I will spend my time reading, blogging, writing a journal (which will probably be in blog format) and praying.

Now the only set back to no TV from 11-5 is The Olympics. What in the world is a girl to do?? I guess I will miss them. There are only a few events that I have left that I want to see.

Hopefully this will put me in the practice of spending some time without the tv on. Spending some time in the quiet stillness of the house.

Someone said why don't you give up TV all together is 11-5 really a sacrifice. I guess no it's not a huge sacrifice but I find the more important aspect is what I am going to do with that time outside of my mommy duties. Spending time reading, writing a journal and praying is a lot better than curled up on the couch watching a Soap Opera, Extra or something like that.

So this year for me Lent is more about getting in the practice of doing something rewarding instead of wasting those hours to something worthless.

Youth Ministry Advance Team: Haiti

2010-02-15T17:20:00.003-05:00

I have a friend in Haiti right now with a group of Youth Workers.
They have a facebook page that is being updated daily while they are there.
Check it out: Youth Ministry Advance Team: Haiti
Each member is blogging about their daily experience and it is just amazing to read. It makes my heart hurt and yet have hope and joy for these people. It seems that to spite their current devastation they are in the streets and at prayer meetings singing and dancing before the Lord.
It is very humbling to read their experience. I encourage you to become a fan and read some of the blogs.
If you read my blog and do not have facebook let me know and I can send you links to their blogs if you are interested.

Valentine's Day sleepover

2010-02-15T12:39:00.004-05:00

So last night I had a sleepover with some of the gals from church.
Ellie roped them into playing dress up first.

Ellie gave them both alternative names, Jane and Sparkle. Luckily Taylor, Sparkle, brought her own dress up dress. Bailey, Jane, did not fair as well. She is wearing a dress that I wore in Kindergarten. I love these girls because they don't just go along with Ellie and Silas. They love them!
As dress up was going on I made pizza.

Yep, I made heart shaped Pizzas and I think they turned out pretty good. They were quite tasty as well.
We played several games and ended the night watching Mamma Mia. Well we watched most of it.
I can't think of a better way to spend Valentine's Day when Eli's away.

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T22:42:00.001-05:00

When daddy's away...

2010-02-12T19:18:00.003-05:00

we get the tent out and sleep out in the living room. This is also how we plan on watching the opening ceremony for the Olympics.

I wear no pants-the toddler version

2010-02-10T19:38:00.003-05:00

Silas caught a Super Bowl commercial that has stuck with him. This is the toddler version of that commercial.

Potty trained?? I'm keeping my fingers crossed

2010-02-10T10:10:00.002-05:00

Silas woke up last Thursday and said "Mom, I wanna go use mine potty." so off we went. He has been using it every since and only had 2 accidents. I think that's pretty good. Hopefully this is the end of diapers.

We do have one issue though, What in the world do I do with him when we are out in public and he has to go. He isn't tall enough to stand and pee in the potty and well sitting isn't an option.
Any mommies out there have advice?
I can't take his little potty everywhere we go.

He loves us all!

2010-02-09T12:39:00.002-05:00

The following is from a blog written by Pete Wilson.
"There are some 11 million abandoned kids roaming the streets of India. I’ve been aware of that statistic for a while but nothing prepares you for meeting it face to face.

This is Puja Ghosh who is just five years old.

She lives with a family here in the Khalpar slum who found her in a pile of trash. Her mom literally tossed her out like you would a loaf of moldy bread.

I know many of you have unhealed wounds from your parents. These are deep wounds because your parents are the two people on earth who by God’s design are entrusted to pour unconditional love into your heart. So when that doesn’t happen for one reason or another it bruises our very souls. It can be the deepest of all hurts.

It’s one thing to grow up in extreme poverty.

It’s one thing to grow up in a 3×5 tent.

It’s one thing to grow up wondering where your next meal is coming from.

But it’s a whole other thing to grow up with the realization your mom and dad threw you in the trash. To know you were so undervalued that you were discarded as worthless and left for dead.

Lack of love is the deepest and most painful form of poverty that exists."

My thoughts:

Lord help me remember to treat everyone in a loving way.

I know sometimes I let the flesh get the best of me and it is so easy to get angry or upset about something. But I truly want to show others that they are important, they have a purpose and they are loved. Whether they are sitting beside me in church, the greeter at WalMart, or a man sitting on the street asking for change. We are all God's people. He made us all in his image and He loves us all no matter what our situation is. We are human and we make stupid mistakes or people make stupid mistakes that effect our lives. God still loves us and we should love one another.

My heart hurts for those that get looked over on a daily basis and that people treat like they are nothing.
They are someone with a story that deserves love!

Sleep

2010-02-09T09:00:00.003-05:00

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, while waiting for school to let out, about sleep. Sleep is a funny thing. We were talking about our kids sleep patterns and the way you view sleep depends on your age.

So many parents complain about their High School or college aged kid sleeping till 1 in the afternoon or taking a 4 hr. nap.

So many parents complain because their little ones don't sleep all night and then don't take a nap.

It's funny when our kids are baby's, toddlers or even elementary aged we want them to sleep.
We want our kids to sleep all night, take a nap and even sleep in on weekends and snow days!
But as they grow we tend to start complaining because they sleep till 1 in the afternoon. It's so funny to see the difference.

I remember being in high school and college and being able to sleep in, oh what a feeling. It was awesome. There was nothing like going back to your dorm room after class and being able to take a nap in the afternoon. It was the best!

Over the years my sleep patterns have changed mainly to fit my kids. A typical sleep pattern for my kids goes like this, Ellie gets up at 6:30 to get ready for school. Silas is up about 5 minutes after she gets up if not before. Lilly is usually up around the same time. Silas usually doesn't take a nap unless he falls asleep as we are going to get Ellie at school. So he may get a 20 minute nap. Lilly usually take a cat nap in the morning and early evening and a pretty good nap in the afternoon. We try to have the kids in bed by 7:30. If Silas has taken a nap more than 20 minutes, which is rare, he gets to stay up till 8:30. Lilly is usually ready for bed at 10:30. She established that all on her own. No matter where we are at 10:30 she is ready to sleep. Typically during the night Lilly wakes up twice to eat. But I think that all has to do with the reflux. Silas on the other hand wakes up several times a night starting at roughly 1:30. If we let him in our bed he will sleep all night long with out waking but then we don't sleep. That being said I average about 6 hrs of sleep a night. My body is learning to adjust to that. Once I get up and moving I do pretty good till about noon and then I crash and get my second wind about 6ish.

When Ellie was a baby/toddler she LOVED to sleep. I miss those days and honestly can't wait till my kids sleep in till at least 8 or 9 AM.

I hope that as my kids grow I can remember these days and not gripe at them for sleeping till noon or 1. If they sleep that long I will have learned that evidently they need it.

So all you college kids out on your own; take a nap, sleep in, enjoy it now!

Mommies don't get to upset with your kids for sleeping in there was once a day you wished they would sleep in.

New mommies, when the baby sleeps you sleep.

Mommies there is nothing wrong with taking a nap if you need it and are able to. Don't beat yourselves up over it. Sometimes I feel guilty for napping but if I am so sleepy that I can't keep my eyes open my body is trying to tell me something. SLEEP! Sometimes I look at the day and think I have to much to do or I haven't done enough to warrant a nap. But when your sleep is interrupted all night and you are chasing after 3-4 kids all day you can get exhausted. Taking a nap when needed will make you a better mommy. After all don't we all get a little grouchy when we get exhausted.

My take on sleep....

LillaB is 5 months old

2010-02-08T11:26:00.002-05:00

My baby is 5 months old today. It's amazing how quickly the time goes by. I am so glad we can take each day slowly and I can enjoy her every moments.

Crayons and Pockets

2010-02-03T09:50:00.003-05:00

Laundry days in this house are Mondays and Thursdays. This past Monday I was on my last load of laundry when I opened the dryer and there it was melted crayon! As I pulled the clothing out of the dryer I came to the realization of the severity of the situation. It wasn't just a clump of crayon on one or two articles of clothing. No not at all, it was all over everything! Eli lucked out! There was only one pair of shorts in that load that was his. Now for me I wasn't so lucky. I had 2 pairs of pj's, 5 shirts, and three pairs of pants. The rest of the load was a few of the kids things that couldn't fit in the first load of their clothing. Silas had 2 pair of pants from Old Navy, a dress shirt, a pair of new pj's, and 4 long sleeve t's. Ellie had a shirt and a pair of pj's, a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Lilly had her Pottery Barn sleep sac, onsies, and a pair of pj's in there. UGH, to think about it is sickening. I think the things that bother me most are Silas' pants and Lilly's sleep sac.
I quickly got online and googled to find a resolution to my problem. Well three soaks later in a solution I found online, that a lady swore her life on, only a slight change. I have 2 more things to try but at this point I am thinking it would just have been cheaper to toss the clothing and head out to Once Upon a Child or the Salvation Army and replace. Although Lilly's sleep sac cannot be replaced. Man, a $50 sleep sac! Now if you follow my blog at all you know there was no way in the world I paid $50 for the sleep sac. Nope I found it on sale for 9.99 and then an additional 10% off. But it still makes me sick.
Over the past couple days of trying to get the crayon out I have gone from panicked sick at my stomach feeling to anger. I am so angry with my self for letting this happen. What a stupid mistake, I should know better! I should have checked the pockets.
Speaking of pockets, really why do toddlers need pockets in there clothing?? Hasn't someone learned by now that it just causes problems for mommy's when there are pockets in the toddlers clothing. Oh well, my lesson has been learned.

Lesson for the week:
CHECK ALL POCKETS when doing laundry.

It's Wednesday and I am still dealing with Laundry and I haven't gotten any other chores done this week. I am so aggravated with myself and so far behind on the weekly chores.

motherhood

2010-01-29T08:55:00.002-05:00

I read these words on a blog they are from Katherine Center.

This is motherhood. We are living this movement everyday. We are defining it right now. This is how we love, share, worry, laugh, give up, give in and find a way to do it again, day in and day out without question, without skipping a beat, without regret.

WHAT I WOULD TELL HER: (If I knew what to say.)

You are a miracle.

And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.

You’ll forget all this when you grow up. But it’s okay.

Being a mother means having your heart broken.

And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.

And it’s the best there is. And also, sometimes, the worst.

Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.

Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.

But you must remember this: What you’re doing matters.

And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.

The truth is, being a woman is a gift. Tenderness is a gift. Intimacy is a gift. And nurturing the good in this world is a nothing short of a privilege.

That’s why I have to love you this way. So I can give what I have to you. So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on.

I have watched you sleep. I’ve kissed you a million times. And I know something that you don’t, yet:

You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.

And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.

"But"

2010-01-25T08:37:00.001-05:00

I have found this organization that I really like, People of the Second Chance. Thier website says this
"We Are People of The Second Chance.
A Scandelous Movement of Radical Grace
in Life and Leadership.
OVERTHROW JUDGEMENT
LIBERATE LOVE"

I have really enjoyed reading their blog. Today they blogged about the word "But" It was a great blog you should go check it out here.

How to even reflect on 2009.

2010-01-22T10:43:00.003-05:00

As 2009 went and 2010 came in I wrestled with the thought of blogging reflections of 2009. 2009 was filled with so many negative happenings and emotions. I thought maybe an easy way to reflect on 2009 was to make a blog titled the ABC's of 2009. Well as I created it and looked back over it I decided not to publish it. It was filled with so much hurt. So I will only focus on the highlights.

January-we found out we were expecting.

July-Ellie turned 5. She was able to drink pop and chew gum.
Eli and I celebrated 8 years of marriage

September- Lilly entered our lives

December- Silas turned 3.

There were some other things that happened this year that were good. We were able to spend some time with some friends. Eli was able to go to a Youth Workers convention. We have had some good family time this year.

While I was thinking about what to say about such a negative year I was listening to Kendall Payne in the car and heard a song that just really defined 2009 for me.
It is from the soundtrack for the movie "The Rising Place"
"God Bless the Heartaches"

Many times in our lifetime our heart knows despair
and I wonder why some souls must bleed

And sometimes I question just who would be there
in my dark hour of need

life can be so uncertain with pain all around and the heartbreak is so hard to face
But for everything lost there's another found
and love seeks it's own sacred space

God bless the heartaches
that reshape the soul in return
God keep our memories
and God bless the lessons we learn

It is out of the shadow we find warm sunlight
and there wouldn't be joy without sorrow
and there'd be no warning without the dark night
cause that's just how life seems to go

God bless the heartaches
that reshape the soul in return
God keep our memories
and God bless the lessons we learn

God bless the heartaches
God bless the tough breaks
God bless the lessons we learn